Dont trust atoms they make up everything.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll
Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.
How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?
I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are. ” He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave
A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
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