Puns jokes

If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?

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Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

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What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree

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Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!

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how does a crazy person get to the woods? He takes the psychopath.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

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Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.

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My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did

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I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

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Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

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I’m the champion of this site I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary buddah. Now for my joke… Why does Peter pan always fly? Because he neverlands…

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I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

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I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

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