Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
Why do bees have sticky hair They always use honeycombs
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace
Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’
If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
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