Puns jokes

What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

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Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

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I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

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What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree

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I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?

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I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.

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Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

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Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

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I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

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I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

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I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

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An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”

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Why doesn’t the Sun go to college? – Because it has a million degrees.

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