If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights.
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!
What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!
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