My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars.
How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.
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