Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
There was a kidnapping at school… Don?t worry, he woke up.
Dont trust atoms they make up everything.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”
New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it
Why did the blind man fall down the well? He just couldn’t see that well.
When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
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