Puns jokes

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.

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My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

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how does a crazy person get to the woods? He takes the psychopath.

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An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”

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Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there.”

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I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did

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You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore? They are a total rip off.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

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I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet

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My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

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What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

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I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

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I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it

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Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

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I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

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