Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.
a mexican was doing a magic trick he said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace
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