I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world
I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
How does Moses prepare his tea? – Hebrews it.
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.
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