Puns jokes

I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

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What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.

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Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her

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“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

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Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

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I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

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I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

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My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

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If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?

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I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

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If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?

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Do you want to hear a money joke? Never mind it makes no cents

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