Puns jokes

A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

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If trees could kill you, they wood.

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Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.

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Dont trust atoms they make up everything.

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So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

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How do trees get online? – They just log in.

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RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

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I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

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How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

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“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

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There was a kidnapping at school… Don?t worry, he woke up.

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I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

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I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

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I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

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What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.

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