If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?
A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.
I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.
Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.
how does a crazy person get to the woods? He takes the psychopath.
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