Puns jokes

What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave

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I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

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You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll

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Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.

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how does a crazy person get to the woods? He takes the psychopath.

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I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!

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I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

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Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

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What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree

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Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

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My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

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What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!

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I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet

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I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.

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How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

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