Puns jokes

If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?

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A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.

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You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll

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So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

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Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

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Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.

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How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

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