If trees could kill you, they wood.
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.
I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
There was a kidnapping at school… Don?t worry, he woke up.
RUS | ENG
