I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet
What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did
I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.
Dont trust atoms they make up everything.
A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are. ” He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll
When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’
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