Puns jokes

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.

If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?

Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.

How do trees get online? – They just log in.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

how does a crazy person get to the woods? He takes the psychopath.

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.

I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.

Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights.