Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
Why did the blind man fall down the well? He just couldn’t see that well.
What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes under cover.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
RUS | ENG
