I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
An atom loses an electron… It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
Why do bees have sticky hair
They always use honeycombs
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave
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