Sea jokes

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael’s wife died the same day that Mark’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, “Heck no. In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle! ” The old lady fainted. ????????????

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What Would you find on a haunted beach? A Sand-witch! “Hey guys I’m a new Jokester, remeber my name as I’ll be making a lot more!!! P.s. They will be much better than this one!”

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There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can’t Sea!

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bagels.

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What did the fish get on his math test? A sea plus.

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What do you call a violent fish? A smackeral!

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Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!

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What sea creature can add up? A octoplus why was the kids report card all wet? Because it was below “sea” level

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what did the fish say when seeing his best mate? I SEA him!

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Why did Michael Jackson go to Sea World? To free Willie

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bs

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The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”

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Why didn’t the boy want to read 2000 leagues under the sea? It was too much pressure.

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I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea but it’s dead in the water

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What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time, no sea.

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