Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael’s wife died the same day that Mark’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, “Heck no. In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle! ” The old lady fainted. ????????????
What did the beach say when the tide came in? Long though sea.
What Would you find on a haunted beach? A Sand-witch! “Hey guys I’m a new Jokester, remeber my name as I’ll be making a lot more!!! P.s. They will be much better than this one!”
I’m on sea- food diet, I see food and eat it.
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
People were scared of the alligator because it ate every one, so they called for the water god Aquarius. He said " sea ya later alligator!" and he drowned.
Hey guys! It’s Triple G you can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes as those are the jokes I specialise and only do best on the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :) Au revouir, GGG
Your mom is so fat when she swam in the sea Wales came up to her and said we are family even now you’re fatter than me.
Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land doesn’t wave back??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
what part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have? The sea
Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?
Why did Michael Jackson go to Sea World? To free Willie
It’s tricky when you’re both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bagels.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
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