A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’” Other jokes: Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing? How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells! How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
Why can’t blind people have a sea food diet? They have to see the food to eat
Why did Michael Jackson go to Sea World? To free Willie
why was the sea so friendly because it gave a little wave
Why should old womon never eat sea food? Cuz then she’ll start acting crabby.
What is the strongest creature in the sea? A mussel!
Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea. (Fantasy)
what did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.
Why is the sand always pissed of? Because the sand never waves back!
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
why was the sand wet? because the sea weed!
What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish!
dude ur last name sounds like a sea food shop, Jordan C
Last night i had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn’t REEL
Why didn’t the boy want to read 2000 leagues under the sea? It was too much pressure.
RUS | ENG
