Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay? Because then they would be called bagels!??????????????????????????
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
what part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have? The sea
Me: That’s a good WAVE Friend: I SEA it Wave: Doesn’t break for us to surf on Me: I was SHORE it would be good Friend: I SEA what you did there
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish!
What is the strongest creature in the sea? A mussel!
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea? A good start :)
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach? A sea minor.
why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
i tried a pun about water but people “sea” right through it, and when people complain they are usually just being a beach
People were scared of the alligator because it ate every one, so they called for the water god Aquarius. He said " sea ya later alligator!" and he drowned.
Why should old womon never eat sea food? Cuz then she’ll start acting crabby.
What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time, no sea.
RUS | ENG
