What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish!
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body. ’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”
what did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing. They just waved did you sea what I did there?
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
What Would you find on a haunted beach? A Sand-witch! “Hey guys I’m a new Jokester, remeber my name as I’ll be making a lot more!!! P.s. They will be much better than this one!”
what did one sea say to the other sea nothing it just waved
why does it take sooo long for the pirates to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years on c pirate: a b sea?
what did the ocean say to the other ocean. nothing he just WAVED. did you SEA what I did there. GUY: yes are you SHORE
Why is the sand always pissed of? Because the sand never waves back!
Last night i had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn’t REEL
what did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach? Because she can’t hear the sea.
Yo mama so fat her swimming is sea world
What did the beach say when the tide came in? Long though sea.
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
RUS | ENG
