Why is the sand always pissed of? Because the sand never waves back!
What is a shark’s favorite tv show? Sea-S-I
what did the ocean say to the other ocean. nothing he just WAVED. did you SEA what I did there. GUY: yes are you SHORE
If seagulls fly over the sea what flies over the bay Bagels
what part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have? The sea
Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
What are fish not allowed to have?seaweed
Why did the fish cross the sea? To get to the other tide! ?? ?? ??
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea but it’s dead in the water
Why do Pirates say “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” ? First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander: “The canons be ready Captain!” “Are” says the Captain (correcting their grammar) “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! !!” they all exclaimed !!
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
Why did Michael Jackson go to Sea World? To free Willie
It’s tricky when you’re both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
What kind of hair do oceons have:Wavy
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body. ’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”
RUS | ENG
