Sea jokes

Q:How do you get a squirrle to like yopu A:Act like a nut ?? Q:Why dont eggs tell jokes? A:Because they?d crack each other up Son:Dad can you put my shoes on?Dad:No son i dont think they would fit me Im on a sea food diet when i see food i eat it I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me

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What sea creature can add up? A octoplus why was the kids report card all wet? Because it was below “sea” level

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why does it take sooo long for the pirates to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years on c pirate: a b sea?

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A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body. ’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”

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Why did the sea cry ? Because it felt salty and blue

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I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

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why was the sea sad? because it was blue

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Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.

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