A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’” Other jokes: Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing? How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells! How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
Last night i had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn’t REEL
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman? Frostbite!
I’ve always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me. That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
what did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.
Why didn’t the boy want to read 2000 leagues under the sea? It was too much pressure.
If seagulls fly over the sea what flies over the bay Bagels
Why is the sand always pissed of? Because the sand never waves back!
Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
what did the ocean say to the other ocean. nothing he just WAVED. did you SEA what I did there. GUY: yes are you SHORE
What did the fish get on his math test? A sea plus.
Me: That’s a good WAVE Friend: I SEA it Wave: Doesn’t break for us to surf on Me: I was SHORE it would be good Friend: I SEA what you did there
What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish!
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature which would he be? A: Adlof-in What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob? Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
Why is the sea salty because it is always blue??(?’?’?)
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