Sea jokes

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There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can’t Sea!

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Q:How do you get a squirrle to like yopu A:Act like a nut ?? Q:Why dont eggs tell jokes? A:Because they?d crack each other up Son:Dad can you put my shoes on?Dad:No son i dont think they would fit me Im on a sea food diet when i see food i eat it I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me

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Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod

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I’m on sea- food diet, I see food and eat it.

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay? Because then they would be called bagels!??????????????????????????

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.

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Why do Pirates say “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” ? First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander: “The canons be ready Captain!” “Are” says the Captain (correcting their grammar) “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! !!” they all exclaimed !!

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Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael’s wife died the same day that Mark’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, “Heck no. In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle! ” The old lady fainted. ????????????

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