Smoking jokes

Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar. “May I smoke a cigar?” Asks Johnny. The grandpa replies “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?” Johnny replied “No.” and left the room. The next day Johnny sees his Grandpa getting into a car. “Can I drive the car?” Asks Johnny. “Does your dick touch your asshole?” “No.” The day after that, Granpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie. “Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” Asked the grandpa. “Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?” “Yep.” “Then go f@ck yourself, this is my cookie.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.” His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: “Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What is the difference between cremation and smoking? while you are smoking you don’t go up in smoke

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some Marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and then they had some fun, but silly jIll forgot her pill and now they have a son. Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, “Jill do you wanna?” Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What Did Rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop & Smoke.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A Blonde crashed A Helicopter. A Police Officer Asked Her What Happened. She Says, “It Got Cold So I Turned Off The Fan.” %% When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder. %% Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold? A: It’s always 90 degrees. %% what do you do when you get locked outside your house… you talk

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


THIS IS A RYTHME jack and jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said u know u wanna jill said yes as he grabbed her dress and they had a little fun jill forgot her pills so now they have a son

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what did the old chimney say to the young chimney? your too young to smoke! that’s not even a bad joke-

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill’s thigh and said “I know you wanna.” Jill said yes, took off her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills and now they have a son.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Do the French people smoke weed or oui’d? I have a friend who recently stoped smoking and the withdraw was hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend. I see a dreamer over there by the water!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025