Smoking jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son. what do you call a retard smoking weed? a baked potato

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Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill’s thigh and said “I know you wanna.” Jill said yes, took off her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills and now they have a son.

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Why did the guy get the hose Because the girl was smoking hot

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what does a shark smoke sea-WEED how do whales breathe under water they take a deep METH

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He: “Do you smoke after sex?” She: “I don’t know. I’ve never looked.”

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What time is it when you can smell smoke ?? inside? Time to get outside

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Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven… His Dad says, “WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies… You think I can have some??” Little Johnny asks his Dad, “Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??” His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass”… Little Johnny says, “Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!”…

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A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and see’s a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running building momentum before launching himself at the nun catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement. He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nuns ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habbit and lifting her limp to her feet til face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace the drunk victoriously growled. Your not so bloody tough tonight are ya Batman. Knock knock who"s there? it’s the grim reaper grim reaper who? The grim reaper who is about to come in your house smoke some weed drink some grim reaper liquor and then get drunk.

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THIS IS A RYTHME jack and jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said u know u wanna jill said yes as he grabbed her dress and they had a little fun jill forgot her pills so now they have a son

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My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating. ” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

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Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.

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