Smoking jokes

Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar. “May I smoke a cigar?” Asks Johnny. The grandpa replies “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?” Johnny replied “No.” and left the room. The next day Johnny sees his Grandpa getting into a car. “Can I drive the car?” Asks Johnny. “Does your dick touch your asshole?” “No.” The day after that, Granpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie. “Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” Asked the grandpa. “Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?” “Yep.” “Then go f@ck yourself, this is my cookie.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


in america 1 in 10 houses there are a paedophiles not me i live next to a smoking hot 8 year old Me: “What are you doing??” Bully: “Where’s my nan’s urn?!?” Me: “I don’t know.” Bully: “Tell me!! says worthless shit” Me: “Next time you’re looking for the urn, don’t bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so f@cking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family’s face after!” Don’t bully kids.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked “Dad, what are you wearing?”. The father would answer with “A costume for Halloween.”. the child asked “can i join?”. He said no, for he said it’s their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

my bf: knock knock me:whos there my bf:ice cream me:ice cream who my bf: ice cream if you don’t let me see that smoking hot body

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did the guy get the hose Because the girl was smoking hot

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How is smoking similar to oral sex? The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! ??

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

(found on web) There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength. News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew,

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. ?????? DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.” Vote for the better joke

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what does a shark smoke sea-WEED how do whales breathe under water they take a deep METH

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarf’s saw them they sang… “Look at those high Ho’s! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo’sssss!!!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025