Smoking jokes

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.

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What is the difference between cremation and smoking? while you are smoking you don’t go up in smoke

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What a duck’s favorite thing to smoke? Quack

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I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigerates at the f@cking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)

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What Did Rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop & Smoke.

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Do the French people smoke weed or oui’d? I have a friend who recently stoped smoking and the withdraw was hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend. I see a dreamer over there by the water!

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what did the big chimney say to the little chimney “ your to young to smoke”

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Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven… His Dad says, “WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies… You think I can have some??” Little Johnny asks his Dad, “Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??” His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass”… Little Johnny says, “Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!”…

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What do you call a chair that smokes weed? A high chair

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crappy joke warning how does spongbob have fun he smokes seaweed

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what do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed? a baked potato

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said i know you wanna but dumb ass jill forgot her pills and now they have 12 kids

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What do you call a fish that smokes? “A puffer.”

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My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death so we smoked his ashes.

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I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm she said “ is it because I warned him when hottness came” I said “ no, you don’t shut up

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