Smoking jokes

in america 1 in 10 houses there are a paedophiles not me i live next to a smoking hot 8 year old Me: “What are you doing??” Bully: “Where’s my nan’s urn?!?” Me: “I don’t know.” Bully: “Tell me!! says worthless shit” Me: “Next time you’re looking for the urn, don’t bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so f@cking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family’s face after!” Don’t bully kids.

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A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and see’s a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running building momentum before launching himself at the nun catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement. He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nuns ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habbit and lifting her limp to her feet til face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace the drunk victoriously growled. Your not so bloody tough tonight are ya Batman. Knock knock who"s there? it’s the grim reaper grim reaper who? The grim reaper who is about to come in your house smoke some weed drink some grim reaper liquor and then get drunk.

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my bf: knock knock me:whos there my bf:ice cream me:ice cream who my bf: ice cream if you don’t let me see that smoking hot body

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what do you call 1 normal kid,and 2 retarded kids,smoking weed? pot roast.

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I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is ?1,000" But that’s not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.

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What is the difference between cremation and smoking? while you are smoking you don’t go up in smoke

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I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we’ve opened a window.

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why cant orphans smoke They dont have parents ._.

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