Smoking jokes

What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke? Yours.

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Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly I took one shot puffed through my pipe and jumped in the air on a trampoline I woke up in heaven. I asked an angel how did I die you? "Well little monkey you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head your mom called the doctor and doctor said you were dead.

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What do you call Mexican that smokes weed.a Baked bean

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I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is ?1,000" But that’s not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.

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I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames

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A little chimney said: “Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I’m about to smoke!!” The big chimney said next to him: “Well, your to young to smoke…”

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your forehead so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain

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a guy stuffed some cigarrets up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors. The next day he could see only one color… Black

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my bf: knock knock me:whos there my bf:ice cream me:ice cream who my bf: ice cream if you don’t let me see that smoking hot body

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When you put the chicken in the oven and it goes down and the oven explodes oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass and all goes back

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Ya know I’m not to I to black girls, but Kobe’s daughter was smoking!!!

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He: “Do you smoke after sex?” She: “I don’t know. I’ve never looked.”

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Two to the one from the one to the three I like good pussy and i like good trees Smoke so much weed you wouldn’t believe And i get more ass than a toilet seat Three to the one from the one to the three I met a bad bitch last night in the d Let me tell you how i made her leave with me Conversation and hennessey I’ve been to the motherf@ckin’ mountain top Heard motherf@ckers talk, seen and dropped If i ain’t got a weapon i’ma pick up a rock And when i bust yo ass i’ma continue to rock Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet It’s real easy just follow the beat Don’t let that fine girl pass you by Look real close "cause strobe lights blind

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When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. ??????

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Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.” His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: “Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke.”

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