What do you call a fish that smokes? “A puffer.”
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says “why is a young man like you smoking? ”. The man turns around and says “why the f@ck are you wearing trainers…”
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.” His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: “Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke.”
How is smoking similar to oral sex? The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! ??
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”
What a duck’s favorite thing to smoke? Quack
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames
what was the last thing that went through PH’s head? water and smoke
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm she said “ is it because I warned him when hottness came” I said “ no, you don’t shut up
what did the big chimney say to the little chimney “ your to young to smoke”
Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high smoking weed talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage. and then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor gets drunk and ask the rabbit can i have one more scotch pretty please? And the rabbit says hell to the naw I’m not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”
Please Fokes you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost… Anyways Knock knock Who’s there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!? More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate… Some nights I’m a real tear jerker! But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker. How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick. How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil. Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling “HAPPY”. Happy got out now they are f@cking “GRUMPY” What’s worse than waking up and finding a “Penis” drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was “Traced” If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn’t go a night with out Robyn! Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them. What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
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