Smoking jokes

I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigerates at the f@cking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)

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What was the drug addict’s favorite nursery rhyme? I’m a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out

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When you put the chicken in the oven and it goes down and the oven explodes oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass and all goes back

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Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven… His Dad says, “WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies… You think I can have some??” Little Johnny asks his Dad, “Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??” His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass”… Little Johnny says, “Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!”…

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What time is it when you can smell smoke ?? inside? Time to get outside

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When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. ??????

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My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death so we smoked his ashes.

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Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana. “Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”

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A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards… The steaks were pretty high

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill’s thigh and said “I know you wanna.” Jill said yes, took off her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills and now they have a son.

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what do you call a burning church? Holy Smokes

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what does a shark smoke sea-WEED how do whales breathe under water they take a deep METH

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Cremation, The last chance for a smoking hot body.

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crappy joke warning how does spongbob have fun he smokes seaweed

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What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke? Yours.

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