Smoking jokes

what does a shark smoke sea-WEED how do whales breathe under water they take a deep METH

Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven… His Dad says, “WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies… You think I can have some??” Little Johnny asks his Dad, “Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??” His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass”… Little Johnny says, “Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!”…

Don’t Touch My Truck-By: Breland and Sam Hunt You can drink my liquor You can call my lady You can take my money You can smoke my blunt Scuff these Jordans You can say you hate me You can call me crazy, but Don’t touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don’t touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don’t touch my V8 engine with

I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is ?1,000" But that’s not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.

What was the drug addict’s favorite nursery rhyme? I’m a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out

What time is it when you can smell smoke ?? inside? Time to get outside

My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarf’s saw them they sang… “Look at those high Ho’s! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo’sssss!!!”

What do you call a fish that smokes? “A puffer.”

When midgets smoke weed do they get high or do they get medium

What cigarettes Churchill’s wife likes to smoke? A blue Winston

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son. what do you call a retard smoking weed? a baked potato

What do you call Mexican that smokes weed.a Baked bean

what do you call 1 normal kid,and 2 retarded kids,smoking weed? pot roast.

Two to the one from the one to the three I like good pussy and i like good trees Smoke so much weed you wouldn’t believe And i get more ass than a toilet seat Three to the one from the one to the three I met a bad bitch last night in the d Let me tell you how i made her leave with me Conversation and hennessey I’ve been to the motherf@ckin’ mountain top Heard motherf@ckers talk, seen and dropped If i ain’t got a weapon i’ma pick up a rock And when i bust yo ass i’ma continue to rock Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet It’s real easy just follow the beat Don’t let that fine girl pass you by Look real close "cause strobe lights blind