Cremation: My last hope for a smoking hot body.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke? Yours.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and see’s a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running building momentum before launching himself at the nun catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement. He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nuns ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habbit and lifting her limp to her feet til face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace the drunk victoriously growled. Your not so bloody tough tonight are ya Batman. Knock knock who"s there? it’s the grim reaper grim reaper who? The grim reaper who is about to come in your house smoke some weed drink some grim reaper liquor and then get drunk.
A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high smoking weed talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage. and then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor gets drunk and ask the rabbit can i have one more scotch pretty please? And the rabbit says hell to the naw I’m not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some Marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and then they had some fun, but silly jIll forgot her pill and now they have a son. Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, “Jill do you wanna?” Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says “why is a young man like you smoking? ”. The man turns around and says “why the f@ck are you wearing trainers…”
Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven… His Dad says, “WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies… You think I can have some??” Little Johnny asks his Dad, “Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??” His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass”… Little Johnny says, “Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!”…
Don’t Touch My Truck-By: Breland and Sam Hunt You can drink my liquor You can call my lady You can take my money You can smoke my blunt Scuff these Jordans You can say you hate me You can call me crazy, but Don’t touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don’t touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don’t touch my V8 engine with
What cigarettes Churchill’s wife likes to smoke? A blue Winston
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death so we smoked his ashes.
Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar. “May I smoke a cigar?” Asks Johnny. The grandpa replies “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?” Johnny replied “No.” and left the room. The next day Johnny sees his Grandpa getting into a car. “Can I drive the car?” Asks Johnny. “Does your dick touch your asshole?” “No.” The day after that, Granpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie. “Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” Asked the grandpa. “Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?” “Yep.” “Then go f@ck yourself, this is my cookie.”
Please Fokes you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost… Anyways Knock knock Who’s there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!? More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate… Some nights I’m a real tear jerker! But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker. How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick. How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil. Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling “HAPPY”. Happy got out now they are f@cking “GRUMPY” What’s worse than waking up and finding a “Penis” drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was “Traced” If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn’t go a night with out Robyn! Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them. What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”
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