Smoking jokes

Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.

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One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?” His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No”, said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, “Then you’re not old enough.” The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, “Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?” His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No” said Little Johhny. “Then you’re not old enough.” his grandpa replied. The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, “Can I have some of your cookies?” Little Johnny replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” His grandpa replied, “It most certainly can!” Little Johnny replied, "Then go f@ck yourself

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I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigerates at the f@cking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)

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Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.

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What is the difference between cremation and smoking? while you are smoking you don’t go up in smoke

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Two plus two is four Minus one, that’s three, quick maths Every day, man’s on the block Smoke trees (Ah) See your girl in the park That girl is a uckers When the ting went quack-quack-quack You man were ducking (You man ducked) Hold tight, Asznee (My brudda) He’s got the pumpy (Big ting) Hold tight, my man (My guy) He’s got the frisbee (Few) I trap, trap, trap on the phone Movin’ that cornflakes (Uh) Rice Krispies Hold tight, my girl Whitney (My G) On, on, on, on, on the road doin’ 10 toes Like my toes (Like my toes) You man thought I froze I see a peng girl, then I pose (Chilin’) If she ain’t on it, I ghost Hah, look at your nose (Check your nose, fam) You donut Nose long like garden hose

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A little chimney said: “Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I’m about to smoke!!” The big chimney said next to him: “Well, your to young to smoke…”

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what do you call 1 normal kid,and 2 retarded kids,smoking weed? pot roast.

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One day a son and his grandad were smoking, too bad only the sun was smoking. :) -Dark_Humor

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Why did the guy get the hose Because the girl was smoking hot

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