Smoking jokes

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Stop and apply lubrication.

Do the French people smoke weed or oui’d?

I have a friend who recently stoped smoking and the withdraw was hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend. I see a dreamer over there by the water!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana Jack got high touch just thigh and said I know you wanna But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a kid

What does a shark smoke sea-WEED

How do whales breathe under water they take a deep METH

I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is?1,000" But that’s not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.

What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke? Yours.

What Did The Dirt Say To The Embers? You Look Smoking Hot.

VOTING SEMIFINAL 2

LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party.??? DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

Vote for the better joke

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney “ your to young to smoke”

A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked “Dad, what are you wearing?”. The father would answer with “A costume for Halloween.”. the child asked “can i join?”. He said no, for he said it’s their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.

Please Fokes you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost…

Anyways

Knock knock Who’s there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?

More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate… Some nights I’m a real tear jerker! But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.

How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.

How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.

Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling “HAPPY”. Happy got out now they are f@cking “GRUMPY”

What’s worse than waking up and finding a “Penis” drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was “Traced”

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass

Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn’t go a night with out Robyn!

Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.

What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low

Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15

When you put the chicken in the oven and it goes down and the oven explodes oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass and all goes back

What time is it when you can smell smoke?? inside? Time to get outside

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”