Smoking jokes

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm she said “ is it because I warned him when hottness came” I said “ no, you don’t shut up

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A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some Marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and then they had some fun, but silly jIll forgot her pill and now they have a son. Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, “Jill do you wanna?” Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son

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How is smoking similar to oral sex? The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! ??

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why cant orphans smoke They dont have parents ._.

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I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigerates at the f@cking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)

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A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards… The steaks were pretty high

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Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house… About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven… His Dad says, “WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies… You think I can have some??” Little Johnny asks his Dad, “Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??” His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass”… Little Johnny says, “Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!”…

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One day a son and his grandad were smoking, too bad only the sun was smoking. :) -Dark_Humor

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My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death so we smoked his ashes.

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What time is it when you can smell smoke ?? inside? Time to get outside

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my bf: knock knock me:whos there my bf:ice cream me:ice cream who my bf: ice cream if you don’t let me see that smoking hot body

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crappy joke warning how does spongbob have fun he smokes seaweed

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I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we’ve opened a window.

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What Did The Dirt Say To The Embers? You Look Smoking Hot.

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