I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite. They just need to leaf people a lone or stick with something nicer
I don’t get why people don’t like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that’s the other hole.
How can toilet paper decorate your house Shit sticks everywhere
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane. The German sticks his hand out and says “We are in Germany.” The others ask, “How do you know,” the German says, “Because it’s so cold.” Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says “We are in Australia,” the others ask “How do you know,” he replies “Because it’s so warm.” Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico, " the others ask “How do you know,” he says " Because my watch is gone"
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur and the rabbit says no So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit
What does a stick say when it falls down- Wood you help me up
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle. A meter stick
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
So a bear and a rabbit are in field, the bear turns to the rabbit and asks, “does your poop stick to your fur?” And the rabbit replied, “no” and the bear then picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they’re approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun : “Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man”? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says : Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don’t let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says : “Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven”. Sister Carmel sees what’s going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. “Pssst - hey Bernie”!, she says. Sister Bernadette asks : “What is it?” A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says : “Do you mind if we swap places”? Sister Bernadette replies : “What for”? Sister Carmel says : “Well, I wouldn’t mind gargling before you stick your ass in there”!
a conductor was conducting a song, at the end he through his conductor’s stick and killed someone, he was put to the electric chair but nothing happened, they asked why he didn’t die and he replied, “I’m a bad conductor” how do you start an Ethiopian rave? stick toast to the ceiling.
What do u get when u cross a stick and a dog a run away joke…
Q:Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? A:To find Pooh!
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