What’s the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They’re both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”
I was in an argument with a “friend” at school. he said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”… …so I threw a dictionary at him.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle. A meter stick
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
What do u get when u cross a stick and a dog a run away joke…
What’s the similarity between Catholic Priests and Mcdonalds ? They both like sticking there meat in 6 year old buns.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Shorts go up,Pants go down Body to Body, Skin to Skin When its sniff, Stick it in It goes in dry and comes out wet And the longer its in the stronger it gets it comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think it is its a LIPTON TEA BAG Get your mind together
Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents my one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked htm title=' that my dad whacked me with his dick'>by a stick i raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick
Sticks and stones may break my bones but there will always be something that offends feminists.
How can toilet paper decorate your house Shit sticks everywhere
My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me
RUS | ENG
