Stick jokes

Sticks and stones may break my bones but there will always be something that offends feminists.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they’re approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun : “Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man”? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says : Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don’t let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says : “Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven”. Sister Carmel sees what’s going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. “Pssst - hey Bernie”!, she says. Sister Bernadette asks : “What is it?” A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says : “Do you mind if we swap places”? Sister Bernadette replies : “What for”? Sister Carmel says : “Well, I wouldn’t mind gargling before you stick your ass in there”!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Q: What do u call a boomerang that are not coming back A: a stick

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How can toilet paper decorate your house Shit sticks everywhere

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Your hairline is so far back that green lantern became blue torch Man Goes To The Doctor He Has A Banana sticking out of one ear , a carrot stinking out of the other ear and a green been stinking out of one nostrils. “Doctor, I’m not feeling well” the man complains. " Well, it’s no wonder" The Doctor replies " You’re not eating right"

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. “What is the matter with you?” the man thinks aloud. “Well, that’s how I was born, I’m actually a faulty parrot” says the bird. “Haha,” the man laughs, “it seems like that

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One day little Jonny and little Susan were in bible class and little susan had been tired that day so she kept falling asleep and the teacher said to little susan who is our lord and savier and little jonny poked her in the but with a push pin and she yelled JESUS CHRIST and the teacher goes thats right go back to be and then the next thing the teacher asked who gave up there son for our sins and little jonny poked her again and she yelled GOD AL MIGHTY and she says thats right go back to bed and the next quisten the teacher asked was what did ADAM SAY TO EVE after there 13th child little jonny poked her in the but again she yelled IF YOU STICK TAHT THING IN ME AGAIN I AM htm title=' OWN ASS AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT'>GOING TO BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHUV IT UP YOUR OWN ASS AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

fat man coming in the store waiter oh god not again :| fat man : hi i would like 3 fries and 19 burgers waiter : sorry sir you will get the owners store out of stock on food can i get you a salad instead? fat man : oh sorry but im the owner and i have alot of stocks the for he record you should get yourself a my order your skinny af gurl you trading to be a stick or something?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A teacher asked her class “what is sex?” Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a temptation Causes by a sensation Where the boy sticks his location Into a girls destination To increase the population Of the next generation Did you get my explanation? Or do you need a demonstration The teacher faints By:Xzavier

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Whats long brown and sticky? A stick.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

so this blind man was walking down the street with his stick right. and he walked passed this fish market, he took a deep breath and said " WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES"

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of you mouth, while the other one doesn’t!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?” Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. “Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly. “Correct,” says the teacher. The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?” Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil. “Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts. “Correct again,” says the teacher. The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep. This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?” Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane. The German sticks his hand out and says “We are in Germany.” The others ask, “How do you know,” the German says, “Because it’s so cold.” Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says “We are in Australia,” the others ask “How do you know,” he replies “Because it’s so warm.” Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico, " the others ask “How do you know,” he says " Because my watch is gone"

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025