Going to church, you don’t think, you are Christian. Sleeping with ten men, You don’t think, you are straight.
Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That’s why she is my friend, after all! :D
Me;you stupid Guy;you straight Me;sorry I’m not a mirror
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
This boy said get get yo hairline straight I said girls don’t have a hairline how about you go to the barber shop htm title=' times worst then he did the first time.'>and let your barber do your hair 10 times worst then he did the first time.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
So a retarded kids mom drops her kid off at school and says “you better stop the bus today because I’m not picking you up” and so he agrees and he arrives at the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the next day the mom says the same thing and the kid goes to the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the third day his mom says “I don’t care if have to jump out in the middle of the road you better stop that bus” so the kid goes to bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says “Stop!” The bus driver runs over him a nearby lady stops the bus and says “why’d you run that poor kid over” and he responds “‘cause he was making fun of me” (in a retarded voice)
Question: What’s bald and is in a straight line? Answer: The cancer ward How do you turn get a straight guy into you a gay guy well… For starts you grab that ass of his drag him into the bathroom and tell him to suck my long big pineapple and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into dick suckin machine
I don’t ever really bother women, but when I do I usually just want to talk, I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that’s not a 10 or a 5 , I get shutdown so fast , I put out lit candles…like damn, I thought I hid my ring
One day i visited my friend in a hospital I remember when i spoke “You know, sometimes it’s reaching its peak and its lowest state, but i know you’ll always end like the others at calming and straight” Yes, i talked about heart monitor beside him
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds “Oh. I’m terribly sorry. You see, I’m so gay I can’t even park straight.”
NWA: Straight Outta Compton Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter
========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club - "Hey how "bout that Donald Trump chump… what the f@ck up with that dude, man ? “Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit
Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!
RUS | ENG
