Straight jokes

Straights are ALWAYS asking LGBTQ+ people why they have such GOOD FASHION SENSE, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing,honey ;)

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A gay guy asked me for directions so I told him to go straight

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What’s one thing that gay person scared at? A gay guy that’s straight!

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“I’m going through a lot of things right now,” I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

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Little Johnny was late to school one day and miss brown asks, Johnny how come ur late to class and Johnny says, Miss, u wouldn’t believe it, the farmers bull got out and started f@cking the white cow miss brown said Johnny don’t use that word next time you want to say that use the word “surprised”. The next day Johnny was late again and miss brown said Johnny why are you late and Johnny replied miss you wouldn’t believe it the farmers bull got out and “surprised” the whit cow, miss brown said that’s much better Jonny and Johnny said yeah walked straight passed it and started f@cking the black one

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im hertophobic- aka im allergic to all straight guys

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When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path. Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

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me be straight and bored goes to my local bar which has a goly hole out up spending the rest of the night there about to leave when mf I realize I’ve been sucking a guys cock this whole time ):

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if gay means happy then i am now straight A news headline read: A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight He was in the infantry

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My friend said to me that I am gay my response I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night

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Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”

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I’m so gay I could barely think straight.

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Me and my friend got in to a fight I look straight forward and said look me in my eyes

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We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

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Astronaut In The Ocean-By- Masked Wolf and watersharky Music Productions- Astro-naut What you know about rollin’ down in the deep? When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah I feel like an astronaut in the ocean, ayy What you know about rollin’ down in the deep?

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