Straight jokes

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So, I was walking down the path of my life with bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his. One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, “You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?” He, then, looks me straight in the eyes, and say,“Raw!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

“I’m going through a lot of things right now,” I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A’s instead of getting all the D’s

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.” His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: “Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


why cant gay people have hair lines? because its not straight.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A straight man and a gay man are talking, the straight man says, “I’m wanted in 2 states for murder.” and the gay man replies with, “oh, that sucks. I’m wanted in 13 for existing.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

why does a straight guy act gay? cause he wants to feel wanted and wants to be bffs with the hotest girls

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Astronaut In The Ocean-By- Masked Wolf and watersharky Music Productions- Astro-naut What you know about rollin’ down in the deep? When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah I feel like an astronaut in the ocean, ayy What you know about rollin’ down in the deep?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Gays: I like men Straights: I like women Russia:Hole is hole

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026