Straight jokes

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My brother caught Covid last month. First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, ‘I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe !’ I just told him straight: ‘Bro… you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes.’

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Gays: I like men Straights: I like women Russia:Hole is hole

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s one thing that gay person scared at? A gay guy that’s straight!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A straight man and a gay man are talking, the straight man says, “I’m wanted in 2 states for murder.” and the gay man replies with, “oh, that sucks. I’m wanted in 13 for existing.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there the doctor asks him “Do you have cancer?” Pinocchio replies, “That was very straight up, but, no I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer.” After saying this, his nose grew.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How do you find out if your kid is gay? Lock him in a closet and if he comes out his gay if not his dead straight.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why do gays get bad grades? They don’t get straight a’s

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said “I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we’re there, I’d also like to take our relationship to the next level.” “I’m there” the boy replied. The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked “do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?” the boy replied " “I plan on getting busy all weekend. I’m not gonna stop pounding her till I’m black and blue. Give me the family pack.” “Sure thing” said the pharmacist. That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. the girls father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, “you never told me that you were so religious” the boy replied, “You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist” what is the difference between the rook and the bishop the rook goes straight while the bishop f@cks the kids

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025