best friend makes 9/11 joke you: hey my dad was inside the tower best friend: im sorry you: I always knew he was a great pilot Why do orphans have water with cereal? Because there dad never came back with the milk
teacher: "you know you can’t sleep in my class" boy: " I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could
Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent! Orphan: -no response-
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”
The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. “The sky is definitely blue.” “Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black.” the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. “The grass is definitely green.” “Very good Annie, but it can also be brown.” Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. “Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?” “Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?” She questioned. “Well if they don’t have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself.”
The teacher asked,"why are you in school on a saturday?" I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: no one stands up Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. waves her finger around the left side of the room Little Johnny: stands up Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
Your forehead so big that the Teachers use it as a whiteboard
Teacher: Where were you born? Student: The highway Teacher: What do you mean Student: I don’t know my mom says thats were all the accidents happen.
Teahcer: At the end of this ruler is a idiot. Student: which end?
Teacher:what does the pig give us Student: bacon Teacher: very good how about the chicken? Student: meat Teacher: good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: homework
Teacher: what’s 3 minus 1? Me: i don’t know Teacher: how about this, you have three cakes, I take one how many cakes do you have? Me: three Teacher: If I take one cake from your three what do you have? Me: three cakes and a dead teacher. ??
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid. Students: sad Teacher: anyway Is anyone missing. Students: Your Parents “I had a great day today.” “Why?” “Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, ‘Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?’”
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once. Student: OOFT Teacher: Who are we missing? Student: Your parents
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
RUS | ENG
