Teacher jokes

New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid. Students: sad Teacher: anyway Is anyone missing. Students: Your Parents “I had a great day today.” “Why?” “Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, ‘Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?’”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay? Because the teacher said she missed all her periods

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly: “And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith’s telephone number on the door of the girl’s toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.” Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is…” Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’. ” Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’"

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home. They got in the car, and his mother asked "Johnny, what did you do this time? So johnny pulled his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” Once they got home his dad was off work and heard that johnny was coming home early from school, once again he asked johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said “Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy.” After that, his dad was surprised so his dad pulled down his pants and said “Big whale, big whale.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


Teacher: what’s your favorite animal Me: Desert Eagle Teacher:why? Me:cause it fits in my backpack

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: no one stands up Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. waves her finger around the left side of the room Little Johnny: stands up Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

do u guys know how to make a hoe in minecraft? you pick it up off the street.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A teacher asked his students a math question. “You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?” After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front. “One dollar!” she said

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025