Kid:Hey what’s black and sneaky! Social studies teacher:Harriet Tubman
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him ??????
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
so the teacher go up to you and says im going to call your parents me: good luck finding them
in English class the teacher says (Teacher): Kids you need to say the alphabet ok Sally you first. (Sally): Okay a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z. (Teacher): good job Sally. Then the teacher called on 4 other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on little Johnny. (Teacher): Little Johnny say the alphabet. (Little Johnny): bcefghijklmnopsvwxyz. (Teacher): no Johnny that’s not right. (Johnny): oh I forgot u r a q t. (Teacher). No still not right and thank you. (Johnny): oh I’ll give you the d later . (Class): (laughing). (Teacher): GO TO THE OFFICE NOW .
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left? Teacher: 502. Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!! Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door. Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door. Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion? Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge. Teacher: WOW! Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How? Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth? Student:The gators are at the party. Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why? Teacher:She drowned?! Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Theres a kid named little Johnny who would always cuss. Well one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said “lets play a game”. so the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. teacher says “A” little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself “well he might say something like a$$” so the teacher calls on sally. sally say “apple”. the teacher says “B” little Johnny raises his hand. the teacher though “no he might say something like b!tch”. so the teacher goes all the way to R. the teacher says “R” little Johnny raises his hand and say “me me please I really know one”. then the teacher thinks to herself “well theres no cuss word that starts with R” so she said “ok Johnny give me a word that starts with R” little Johnny says “a rat!” and the teacher very pleased say “very good Johnny what type of rat” little Johnny says “A big gosh damn mother freaker”. sorry I had to edit some word but y’all know what I meant.
Teacher: Where were you born? Student: The highway Teacher: What do you mean Student: I don’t know my mom says thats were all the accidents happen.
one day little billy came in pulling up his pants the teacher asks “Where have you been billy” he says on top of beverly hill a few minutes later little willy came in the teacher asked where have you been he says on top of beverly hill 10 minutes later little johnny came in teacher says again where have you been ha says on top of beverly hill a few minutes htm title=' who are you she says i’m beverly hill'>later a girl came in the teacher says who are you she says i’m beverly hill
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor
A teaher gives her kindergarden students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors the students guess cherry lime and orange. They dont know th last flavor. So the teacher gives them and hint and say its what your parents call each other. [honey] But a little girl shouts and says “ OMG there assholes.
Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
the fat kid asked the teacher “is godzilla real” the teacher said “they’re standing right infront of me”
The teacher asked,"why are you in school on a saturday?" I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
RUS | ENG