Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you Students: Eggs Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you Kids: Bacon Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you Kids: Homework
A Child asks his teacher to go to the toilet "before you go recite the alphabet" the teacher says a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z "good but wheres the p? " “running down my leg”
Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay? Because the teacher said she missed all her periods
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
Teacher: Describe a penguin Student: Black, White, Beak Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow? Student: It describes you tho.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ?Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!? After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ?Yes sir!? After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ?Forks and knives, forks and knives!? After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ?Goody-goody gumdrops!? A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You?re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
so the teacher go up to you and says im going to call your parents me: good luck finding them
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word. So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sisters Jenga kit” The principles office smells nice
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles, His teacher asked “Three birds where sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?” Little Johnny replied “None, because the sound would scare the other two away.” His teacher said “No, but I like the way you think!” Little Johnny replied, “Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?” His teacher was shocked and said “Little Johnny! ” He replied “It’s gum! But I like the way you think!”
Kid:Hey what’s black and sneaky! Social studies teacher:Harriet Tubman
One day the teacher asks a boy why can’t fish talk underwater. The Kid says " If I put your head underwater will you be able to talk.
Teahcer: At the end of this ruler is a idiot. Student: which end?
So there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, what is one plus one? She said I HATE YOU. Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, My buns are burning. Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! Bobby said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! The principal yelled, HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?! Then he said, 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, my buns are burning.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”
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