I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn’t like it if we don’t work on math in his class. So I did science homework on top of a math book
Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly: “And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith’s telephone number on the door of the girl’s toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4.”
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?” Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven” Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart” Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!” The teacher says, “how do you know this?” Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”
What the type of teacher who doesn’t fart in public? A Private Tutor/Tooter
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved…and shot her.
Teacher: Kids what are something you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friend to make me happy. Teacher: What about you Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy…
Your forehead so big that the Teachers use it as a whiteboard
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says “Your mother, of course.” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says “You’re so so sexy!”
Teacher: what’s your favorite animal Me: Desert Eagle Teacher:why? Me:cause it fits in my backpack
Whats the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book? You can shut the book up
Teacher: Johnny can you use a sentence with definitely in it Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them Teacher: of cause not Johnny Little Johnny: then I’ve definitely shat myself
Kid:Hey what’s black and sneaky! Social studies teacher:Harriet Tubman
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were, I responded “My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft.”
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question, can go home." A boy throws his bag out the window. The teacher asks, “Who just threw that?” The boy says, “Me! I’m going home now.”
A Child asks his teacher to go to the toilet "before you go recite the alphabet" the teacher says a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z "good but wheres the p? " “running down my leg”
RUS | ENG
