Teacher jokes

Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom. The teacher asked them, “Why are you arguing?” One of the boys replied, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher. “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was. ” The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

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Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.

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one day the teacher said “there are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. how many are left?” the teacher calls on lil johnny. “none” the teacher said ‘‘no but try again’’ lil johnny says " none bc if u shoot one the rest get scared and leave" the teacher said’’ not quiter but i like the way you think" lil johnny then says " alr teacher i have one for you. there are 3 women sitting on a bench, ones sucking it. the other its licking it, and the last on is bitting it. witch one is married?" the teacher then says "the one sucking it ofc" lil johnny then says “no the one with the ring but i like the way you think”

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A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question, can go home." A boy throws his bag out the window. The teacher asks, “Who just threw that?” The boy says, “Me! I’m going home now.”

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Teacher: where’s you homework? Student: at home… Teacher: what’s it doing there? Student: having a better time than me.

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My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were, I responded “My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft.”

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I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn’t like it if we don’t work on math in his class. So I did science homework on top of a math book

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The teacher asked,"why are you in school on a saturday?" I told her my mum told me to go to hell.

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Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor

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Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents we’re taken so her shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: Can I play with your bellybutton my mom always let’s me when we camp. So the teacher says: Sure 5 minutes later the teacher says: Woah Woah Woah that’s not my bellybutton! Little Johnny says: Woah Woah Woah thats not my finger.

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An old teacher asked her student, “If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?” The student replied, “It is obviously past.”

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Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.

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Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor.

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