The secret to dark humor is the delivery… oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
Why did the orphan wait in line? To see their parents next
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait… nevermind…
An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. The next day the old man and his lawyer
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it) I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait… it’s just one
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?” She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers.” The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?” The old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!” “That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?” The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…”
i wonder if stephen hawking has ever watched avengers end game… oh wait he cant
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
I really hate waiting to die… Its taking a lifetime
What is different about priests and acne. Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face
did you know the f in orphan stands for family…oh wait HAHA we should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell there parents…oh continue
A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad. Oh…Wait…Continue.
A mom gave her son “the talk”. her son replies "wait so there really isn’t candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.
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