I really hate waiting to die… Its taking a lifetime
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman? Wait, I can explain everything!
what did the bomber say the the jet? sorry bro, I gotta bomb. WAIT NO-
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.
A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’
School Bully: How’s your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don’t have any! Me: How’s your parents? Oh wait, you don’t have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
Tomorrow is Christmas and I’m giving myself a present that I can’t wait to open. It’s my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)
A is for apple, B is for dyslexia- oh wait no! That’s d!
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait… nevermind…
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: … oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.
i wonder if stephen hawking has ever watched avengers end game… oh wait he cant
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