School Bully: How’s your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don’t have any! Me: How’s your parents? Oh wait, you don’t have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
Can’t wait to meet you! So join the Depression family! We open real soon! Try best to hold onto sanity!
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
Why did the orphan wait in line? To see their parents next
A mom gave her son “the talk”. her son replies "wait so there really isn’t candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.
(A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing) Man: Ah… suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump? Lady: Yep. I hate this world. Man: Well, if your gonna die, can we have sex before you jump? Lady: Hell no! You creep! Man: Ok, fine. I guess I’ll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore…
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it) I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait… it’s just one
The F in orphan stands for family… oh wait
Why Didnt The Skeleton Go To Prom? He Was Dead. You Fool. You Fell For My Trick. Im Very Heartless- Oh Wait YOU FOOL-
Why’d the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay (guys/girls) house. (Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?” A: the chicken
I cant wait to see Uranus??
I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
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