Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait… nevermind…
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman? Wait, I can explain everything!
what did the bomber say the the jet? sorry bro, I gotta bomb. WAIT NO-
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????
Once there was this Whichdoctor, he walked barefoot most of the time which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little and the food gave him bad breath. Which made him (wait for it), A Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Tomorrow is Christmas and I’m giving myself a present that I can’t wait to open. It’s my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
A blonde, redhead and brunette are all sitting in a hospital’s waiting room for ultrasounds. After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, “What’s with the giggling?” The brunette replies, “I’m having a boy!” The blonde and the redhead ask, “How do you know?” “Because he was on top!” The brunette replies again. The three go back to conversing and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly. “What’s with the giggling?” The blonde and brunette ask. “I’m having a girl!” The redhead replies. “Well, how do you know?” The blonde and brunette ask again. “I was on top!” All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears. “Oh, honey! What’s wrong?” The redhead and brunette ask. “I’m having puppies!”
I cant wait to see Uranus??
Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: … oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.
everyone: so wait let me get this straight feminist want to cancel fathers day because it is offensive to single mothers feminist: correct everyone: THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF MOTHERS DAY
Friend: Want to play fall guys? Friend 2: Yup Friend: Ok so let me ju- wait where are you going? Friend 2: I’m gonna jump off Friend: Why? Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
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