I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said , ”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”
What is different about priests and acne. Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it) I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait… it’s just one
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty? Puberty waits the blow up
I cant wait to see Uranus??
Sy’kyira: I can’t wait for the therapist to come. Daina: Same, 30 minutes have passed … I also wonder what that loud sound is. Sy’kyira: SAME !!! What does it sound like a woman suffering ??? Daina: I know, right?
A mom gave her son “the talk”. her son replies "wait so there really isn’t candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.
i wonder if stephen hawking has ever watched avengers end game… oh wait he cant
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it… oh wait
Can’t wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait…
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
Friend: Want to play fall guys? Friend 2: Yup Friend: Ok so let me ju- wait where are you going? Friend 2: I’m gonna jump off Friend: Why? Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))
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