How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb? One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her. …just kidding-
None. They can’t change anything.
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
My therapist says with time all wounds can heal so I stabbed him now we wait
I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
The F in orphan stands for family… oh wait
I really hate waiting to die… Its taking a lifetime
A blonde, redhead and brunette are all sitting in a hospital’s waiting room for ultrasounds.
After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, “What’s with the giggling?”
The brunette replies, “I’m having a boy!”
The blonde and the redhead ask, “How do you know?”
“Because he was on top!” The brunette replies again.
The three go back to conversing and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.
“What’s with the giggling?” The blonde and brunette ask.
“I’m having a girl!” The redhead replies.
“Well, how do you know?” The blonde and brunette ask again.
“I was on top!”
All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.
“Oh, honey! What’s wrong?” The redhead and brunette ask. “I’m having puppies!”
“I’m having puppies!”
Guys this has to stop lets tell there parents oh wait
The secret to dark humor is the delivery… oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
I cant wait to see Uranus??
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl’s house. When he got there, he said to her father “thank you for this moment, have a great night”. At the dance, the girl asks the boy, “can I have some food?” He gladly replies “yes” and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, “thank you so much, I really needed something to eat”. Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, “thank you SOOOO much” Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, “what is it?” She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
Friend: Want to play fall guys?
Friend 2: Yup
Friend: Ok so let me ju- wait where are you going?
Friend 2: I’m gonna jump off
Friend: Why? Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
Roses are red violets are blue YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU…
“You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia. ” “Wait! I can explain everything.”
“Wait! I can explain everything.”
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing let them wait for their parents.
RUS | ENG
