A husband came back from business trip and found out that she was pregnant at first he got a bit suspicious but then he just ignore And hugs his wife with happiness the second when he meet his friend and htm title=' wait what I thought she was on pill'>tell him the news the friend just said " wait what I thought she was on pill"
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street, he thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with so he called in one of the friends. The friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. the policeman called in the 2nd friend, the 2nd friend looked into the dead body’s face and said, “yep that’s definitely Joe,” but then to be absolutely sure he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants and said, "oh no wait that’s not Joe. Confused the policeman asked, “how is it that when you look into his face you’re sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you’re sure he is not?” The 1st friend said, “well you see Joe has 2 assholes.” "Are you serious? the policeman asked. “Oh yes,” he replied, “we’ve never actually seen them but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, hey there’s Joe with those 2 assholes.”
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
Sy’kyira: I can’t wait for the therapist to come. Daina: Same, 30 minutes have passed … I also wonder what that loud sound is. Sy’kyira: SAME !!! What does it sound like a woman suffering ??? Daina: I know, right?
Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
Guys stop making jokes about orphan’s parents will be told… oh wait
(A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing) Man: Ah… suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump? Lady: Yep. I hate this world. Man: Well, if your gonna die, can we have sex before you jump? Lady: Hell no! You creep! Man: Ok, fine. I guess I’ll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore…
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad. Oh…Wait…Continue.
A man walks into a bar and there is a line of people waiting to punch him. Yeah that was the punch line.
The secret to dark humor is the delivery… oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
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