guys this has to stop lets tell there parents oh wait
So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it) I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait… it’s just one
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.
Sy’kyira: I can’t wait for the therapist to come. Daina: Same, 30 minutes have passed … I also wonder what that loud sound is. Sy’kyira: SAME !!! What does it sound like a woman suffering ??? Daina: I know, right?
Roses are red violets are blue YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU… “You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia. ” “Wait! I can explain everything.”
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty? Puberty waits the blow up
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
Me: Hey how are you? Depression: I’m doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3 Insomnia: Mommy can we get a home? Anxiety: Insomnia wait for mommy to finish. Depression: Anyway here is my resume! Me: Okie thank you, Ok… mhmmm… WOW! Okie this is a nice resume! (Didn’t Read it…) Depression: Also I have 2 more friends that want to move in too! Me: Ok and there names? Depression: There names are: PTSD and Trauma! Me: Ok they seem fine (Doesn’t know about them) Depression: Okie here is the money (a penny :() Thank you we will call you if we need anything. Me: Ok see you soon! :3 Me now hates my life. :)
did you know the f in orphan stands for family…oh wait HAHA we should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell there parents…oh continue
School Bully: How’s your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don’t have any! Me: How’s your parents? Oh wait, you don’t have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep? Tell them there parent are waiting when the wake up.
A man walks into a bar and there is a line of people waiting to punch him. Yeah that was the punch line.
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