Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))
Roses are red violets are blue YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU… “You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia. ” “Wait! I can explain everything.”
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face. My therapist said: “Time heals all wounds” I shot her now we wait
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said , ”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”
Stephen hawking walks into a bar… oh wait.
A man walks into a bar and there is a line of people waiting to punch him. Yeah that was the punch line.
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad. Oh…Wait…Continue.
So Little Johnny’s teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says “teacher, I’ll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is.” She replies, “okay, meet me after class and we’ll settle it.” But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess. “Blue.” “Nope. You got it wrong,” she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn’t wearing any underwear. “Well come with me out to my dads car, he’s waiting for me, and I’ll get you the money.” She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: “That mother f@cker! He bet me $100 this morning that he’d see your pussy before the end of the day!”
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways; What is the difference between a priest and a zit? ?? The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face ??
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
Tomorrow is Christmas and I’m giving myself a present that I can’t wait to open. It’s my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb? One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her. …just kidding- none. They can’t change anything.
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