Waiting jokes

So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

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I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

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Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.

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Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

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Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait… nevermind…

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar… oh wait.

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What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman? Wait, I can explain everything!

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My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.

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Can’t wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait…

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I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

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What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty? Puberty waits the blow up

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I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

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Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????

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Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

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What do you do when you see a sad orphan? Nothing let them wait for their parents.

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