My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him ??????
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?
Roses are red violets are blue YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU… “You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia. ” “Wait! I can explain everything.”
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said , ”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”
A man walks into a bar and there is a line of people waiting to punch him. Yeah that was the punch line.
Why Didnt The Skeleton Go To Prom? He Was Dead. You Fool. You Fell For My Trick. Im Very Heartless- Oh Wait YOU FOOL-
Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))
What do you do when you see a sad orphan? Nothing let them wait for their parents.
i wonder if stephen hawking has ever watched avengers end game… oh wait he cant
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!” I’m in school lol.
A blonde, redhead and brunette are all sitting in a hospital’s waiting room for ultrasounds. After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, “What’s with the giggling?” The brunette replies, “I’m having a boy!” The blonde and the redhead ask, “How do you know?” “Because he was on top!” The brunette replies again. The three go back to conversing and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly. “What’s with the giggling?” The blonde and brunette ask. “I’m having a girl!” The redhead replies. “Well, how do you know?” The blonde and brunette ask again. “I was on top!” All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears. “Oh, honey! What’s wrong?” The redhead and brunette ask. “I’m having puppies!”
Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: … oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.
An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. The next day the old man and his lawyer
RUS | ENG