Roses are red violets are blue YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU… “You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia. ” “Wait! I can explain everything.”
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
But she hasn’t tried the position with her new boyfriend. So she invites him to a romantic dinner. After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it. But her boyfriend was clueless about such acts. So she tell him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 positions. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same. But the bf didn’t know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly the girl had an urge to fart, but hold it in because her asshole was right near his bf face. Suddenly she loses control, and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says “Bitch if you think I’ll be lying here for 67 more of those, you’re f@cking crazy.”
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it) I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait… it’s just one
i wonder if stephen hawking has ever watched avengers end game… oh wait he cant
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: “Can i have some milk?” He waited for three hours to get an answer. His mom finally said: “No your dad still isn’t back with it.” A man is with his friend in a bar. The friend, out of the blue asks, “Hey, what’s your body count?” Nervous, the man looks away. The friend then says, “I’m talking about sex.” The man then turns back and mumbles, “Oh… I thought you saw inside the basement…” “Wait, wha…” “What?”
A mom gave her son “the talk”. her son replies "wait so there really isn’t candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.
School Bully: How’s your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don’t have any! Me: How’s your parents? Oh wait, you don’t have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
A is for apple, B is for dyslexia- oh wait no! That’s d!
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman? Wait, I can explain everything!
A husband came back from business trip and found out that she was pregnant at first he got a bit suspicious but then he just ignore And hugs his wife with happiness the second when he meet his friend and htm title=' wait what I thought she was on pill'>tell him the news the friend just said " wait what I thought she was on pill"
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?” She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers.” The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?” The old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!” “That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?” The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…”
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