I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
Can’t wait to meet you! So join the Depression family! We open real soon! Try best to hold onto sanity!
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep? Tell them there parent are waiting when the wake up.
School Bully: How’s your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don’t have any! Me: How’s your parents? Oh wait, you don’t have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad. Oh…Wait…Continue.
i wonder if stephen hawking has ever watched avengers end game… oh wait he cant
Why’d the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay (guys/girls) house. (Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?” A: the chicken
Tomorrow is Christmas and I’m giving myself a present that I can’t wait to open. It’s my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek. The old lady thinks, “I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.” The blonde thinks, “I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him.” The Frenchman thinks, “I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.” The Englishman thinks, “I can’t wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again.”
You are so fat that the waiter said to you everytime: ‘sorry for your weight’ instead of ‘sorry for the wait’
I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said , ”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”
A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????
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