Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you everytime: ‘sorry for your weight’ instead of ‘sorry for the wait’
Can’t wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait…
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep? Tell them there parent are waiting when the wake up.
The secret to dark humor is the delivery… oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal so I stabbed him now we wait
Hey can’t wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
Tomorrow is Christmas and I’m giving myself a present that I can’t wait to open. It’s my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)
A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’
I cant wait to see Uranus??
Once there was this Whichdoctor, he walked barefoot most of the time which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little and the food gave him bad breath. Which made him (wait for it), A Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Can’t wait to meet you! So join the Depression family! We open real soon! Try best to hold onto sanity!
A man walks into a bar and there is a line of people waiting to punch him. Yeah that was the punch line.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
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