I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad. Oh…Wait…Continue.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
A blonde, redhead and brunette are all sitting in a hospital’s waiting room for ultrasounds. After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, “What’s with the giggling?” The brunette replies, “I’m having a boy!” The blonde and the redhead ask, “How do you know?” “Because he was on top!” The brunette replies again. The three go back to conversing and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly. “What’s with the giggling?” The blonde and brunette ask. “I’m having a girl!” The redhead replies. “Well, how do you know?” The blonde and brunette ask again. “I was on top!” All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears. “Oh, honey! What’s wrong?” The redhead and brunette ask. “I’m having puppies!”
One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, “you have to come with me and see this it’s really important,” Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can’t it wait until the morning?’ I pleaded, “no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically. ” She yawned and said, “oh so that’s who’s been peeing in the refrigerator.”
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister; she said at least wait for her to be born first.
I really hate waiting to die… Its taking a lifetime
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
The F in orphan stands for family… oh wait
A husband came back from business trip and found out that she was pregnant at first he got a bit suspicious but then he just ignore And hugs his wife with happiness the second when he meet his friend and htm title=' wait what I thought she was on pill'>tell him the news the friend just said " wait what I thought she was on pill"
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