I really hate waiting to die… Its taking a lifetime
I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said , ”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?” She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers.” The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?” The old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!” “That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?” The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…”
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal so I stabbed him now we wait
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
I cant wait to see Uranus??
Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Why did the orphan wait in line? To see their parents next
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face. My therapist said: “Time heals all wounds” I shot her now we wait
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
RUS | ENG
