Waiting jokes

Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: … oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.

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If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?

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My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it) I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait… it’s just one

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Roses are red violets are blue YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU…

“You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia. ”

“Wait! I can explain everything.”

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Once there was this Whichdoctor, he walked barefoot most of the time which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little and the food gave him bad breath. Which made him (wait for it), A Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

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Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

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What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

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Tomorrow is Christmas and I’m giving myself a present that I can’t wait to open. It’s my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)

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I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it… oh wait

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Can’t wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait…

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Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your

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Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.

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Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad. Oh…Wait…Continue.

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At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

I’m in school lol.

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Yo mama so fat, when she ran… oh wait nevermind

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