So there’s a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says “Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back,”. The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother’s back breaking. The little girl’s father looks in terror, she then says “step on a line and you break your father’s spine,”. The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out “OW MY SPINE, ”. The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Me at the Oscars when i see Jada Pinkett Smith, me, I said: “G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I Jada 2, can’t wait to see it” So will smith is laughing and then suddenly, Suddenly Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigcka Smith goes: “KEEP MY WIFE’S NAME OUT OF YOUR f@ckING MOUTH! ” Me: “Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers”
Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: … oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.
School Bully: How’s your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don’t have any! Me: How’s your parents? Oh wait, you don’t have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it) I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait… it’s just one
Friend: Want to play fall guys? Friend 2: Yup Friend: Ok so let me ju- wait where are you going? Friend 2: I’m gonna jump off Friend: Why? Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????
Sy’kyira: I can’t wait for the therapist to come. Daina: Same, 30 minutes have passed … I also wonder what that loud sound is. Sy’kyira: SAME !!! What does it sound like a woman suffering ??? Daina: I know, right?
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait… nevermind…
A man walks into a bar and there is a line of people waiting to punch him. Yeah that was the punch line.
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad. Oh…Wait…Continue.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
A mom gave her son “the talk”. her son replies "wait so there really isn’t candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.
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