what did the bomber say the the jet? sorry bro, I gotta bomb. WAIT NO-
Can’t wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait…
Guys stop making jokes about orphan’s parents will be told… oh wait
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
A man walks into a bar and there is a line of people waiting to punch him. Yeah that was the punch line.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your
The secret to dark humor is the delivery… oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it… oh wait
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty? Puberty waits the blow up
everyone: so wait let me get this straight feminist want to cancel fathers day because it is offensive to single mothers feminist: correct everyone: THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF MOTHERS DAY
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: “Can i have some milk?” He waited for three hours to get an answer. His mom finally said: “No your dad still isn’t back with it.” A man is with his friend in a bar. The friend, out of the blue asks, “Hey, what’s your body count?” Nervous, the man looks away. The friend then says, “I’m talking about sex.” The man then turns back and mumbles, “Oh… I thought you saw inside the basement…” “Wait, wha…” “What?”
I cant wait to see Uranus??
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep? Tell them there parent are waiting when the wake up.
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