What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg
Billy: spits out food Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths. Dad: looks at mom Mom: Shut up If you get you get it
why is there no woman on the moon? because it doesnt need to be cleaned
One day I got home and told my girlfriend “I cheated on you.” she replied with “F**k you” I then said “But you won’t, that’s why I cheated on you.”
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend Sally. They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said you need to be quarantined again. No sally said I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups especially women like. Then the teacher faints.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant. My name, my address and my phone number.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back
i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
I took my girlfriend out the other day… Man do I love being a sniper.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her ‘doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?’ The doctor says ‘my number’
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. “I don’t understand it, Doc”, she said, “I have this terrible, terrible gas”. “Thankfully”, she added, “they are at least silent when I fart”. Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him. The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. “I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!”, she yelled. The doctor said, “well, now that we’ve solved your hearing problem, let’s see what we can do about that gas”.
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