Woman jokes

My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000

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Two girls have a sleepover. Karen: Let’s go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it’s early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" Lauren hears noise Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: laughs Lauren: remembers her boyfriend is Karen’s brother Mikey

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Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

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i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey

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An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, ?You look like a million pounds!? The wife divorced him.

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nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users

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I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.

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My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me

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A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

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Boy: my girlfriend didn’t dump me, I dumped her… Off the nearby cliff

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A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited. However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium. So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field. He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken. The man replies, “No.” The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?” The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.” “Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you? ” “No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”

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My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

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Most states: “It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.” Alabama: “She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”

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i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face

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My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.

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