A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
my boyfriend accused me of cheating. i told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ? you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth… sorry
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
What do u call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do? Wrong
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a seven year old.
3 citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI, their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot them, he walked out in shame and said he couldn’t do it. The second guy had the same scenario, he put the gun up but couldn’t pull the trigger so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario, he walked out and told the instructor, “The gun wasn’t loaded, I had to strangle the bitch.”
Little Johnny walked on into to his house.He heard a banging sound from up above and decied to investigate.He opened the door to his parents room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
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