When your girlfriend has an abortion, it’s kinda like dodging your own bullets.
Women are like dogs… “Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?” “Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? ” “I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here…” SHOES
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regreted it. She left him too.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet and the wife said yaknow weve been good about our diet lets have a cheat night tonight. The wife came home with kfc and wendys. the husband came home with sylvia from the office.
Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke? ” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
Why couldn’t the lizard get a girlfriend? Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. ‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’ The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said. The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”
RUS | ENG
