Woman jokes

How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

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Why can’t Helen Keller drive? Because she’s a woman.

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my girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex and I said what’s that, she said I f@ck her ass, I said oh my uncle calls that shhhhh

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A programmer and his wife. She says, “We’re out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they’ve got eggs, get six.” After a while, he’s back with six loaves of bread. The wife asks, “Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?” He replies, “They had eggs.”

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How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ? you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth… sorry

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In my mothers generation, they grew up with wonder woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she’s a woman.

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I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. – I didn’t want to interrupt her. A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3… The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”. The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some

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I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.

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If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.

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Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

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I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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Flippity floppity women are property

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how did Stephan hawking please his woman he uses a hard drive.

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A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

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A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

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