Husband: I bet you can’t say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
School Bully: How’s your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don’t have any! Me: How’s your parents? Oh wait, you don’t have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
I keep looking for my girlfriends killer but no one wants to do it.
“What does the word ‘gay’ mean?” asked a son his father. “It means ‘happy’,” replied the father. “Oh,” contested the son, “so you are gay then?” “No, son, I have a wife.”
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She’s 7
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
Y is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman stomach but never the man’s balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations
Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila
you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come
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