Woman jokes

A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy “What’s going on here!?” He exclaims. The wife replies “See, I told you he was stupid.”

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One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! 

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one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

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i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

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“What does the word ‘gay’ mean?” asked a son his father. “It means ‘happy’,” replied the father. “Oh,” contested the son, “so you are gay then?” “No, son, I have a wife.”

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A husband and a wife have four children the oldest three are tall with blonde hair, the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said “honey, can you be completely honest with me, is our youngest son mine?” The wife says “I swear to all that is holy he is your son.” Then the husband died and the wife muttered, “thank god he didn’t ask about the other three.”

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My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me

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My wife thinks i’m immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.

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A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then? ’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’

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Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise

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Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”

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My girlfriend is like treasure to me You need a shovel to find her…

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my wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf My wife left me for an Indian guy. – I know he’s going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.

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Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.

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My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

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