Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Moist of the time.
A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available. One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy “What’s going on here!?” He exclaims. The wife replies “See, I told you he was stupid.”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game. They had great seats right behind their teams bench. After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?” She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”
My girlfriend is like treasure to me You need a shovel to find her…
I took my girlfriend out the other day… Man do I love being a sniper.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
Husband: I bet you can’t say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages. After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?” “No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
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