I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.
my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time
you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
I took my girlfriend out the other day… Man do I love being a sniper.
My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
Y is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman stomach but never the man’s balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations
My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly. So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
"I’d rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth,"the woman told her dentist. He replied, “Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.”
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
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