What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg
Husband: I bet you can’t say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can’t unscrew a pregnant woman What’s a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman They’re both accidents
what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons
my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room. My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regreted it. She left him too.
Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly? Boyfriend: your both! Girlfriend: what do you mean by that? Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor “hows the baby?” “You had twins” the doctor replied. “Your brother named them” the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" “He called the girl Denise” “what about the boy” the woman asked the doctor said “denephew”
Most states: “It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.” Alabama: “She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”
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