The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t
My wife thinks i’m immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey
Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
“I’m not sure why my girlfriend’s father doesn’t like me.” “What was your first impression on him?” “I told him, she calls me daddy too.”
At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. “She must have COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. “Cuz she clearly has no taste.” She responded.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it’s kinda like dodging your own bullets.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet and the wife said yaknow weve been good about our diet lets have a cheat night tonight. The wife came home with kfc and wendys. the husband came home with sylvia from the office.
Women are like dogs… “Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?” “Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? ” “I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here…” SHOES
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
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