If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “what do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed. Most women can’t pull off sarcasm
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born. the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.
I keep looking for my girlfriends killer but no one wants to do it.
Wives are like grenades… – Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says, " Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning? Because they don’t have balls.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come
A kid tell me he was gonna f$&k my mom on Fortnite! So I toldhim I was gonna double pump his mom untill she was wet like moisty meyers like if your not A GAY dislike if your furry repost if you HATE blacks omment for VBUCKS sub to me on youtube its my friend and he has aids send himjoeide53rygq2ej/le nb rfcshsu 3nurtv N3Q5UERIUGWTC7w2VWGYEHIWAWASERYAANFYINSIDEFREHJOBUGFUYWUSGRFYDIDYFRG911
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
Husband: I bet you can’t say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
RUS | ENG
