A guy is due to meet his friends for drink at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late. The guy says, “Well, you won’t believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her.” The friends are cheering and one friend asks, “So… did you get any head?” The guy replies, “No, I couldn’t find it.”
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
Flippity floppity women are property
FIRST DATE man: i work with animals every day woman: oh how sweet! what is it that you do? man: im a butcher…
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and ur dad is a woman? Transparent
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.
Do you know what’s the difference between a knife and a girl’s argument A knife has a point
There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome
Two men were talking about their wives The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
my boyfriend accused me of cheating. i told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. “She must have COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. “Cuz she clearly has no taste.” She responded.
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