Woman jokes

wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come

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little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"

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What do you call it if your mom is a guy and ur dad is a woman? Transparent

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I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.

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Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number

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I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

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what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs

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Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die

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Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.

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Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

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A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

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When your girlfriend has an abortion, it’s kinda like dodging your own bullets.

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you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.

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Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. not everyone gets it

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Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

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