Man: "Is your body from Mcdonalds?" Woman: "Why, because your loving it?" Man: “No, because its fat and greasy.” :D
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
Flippity floppity women are property
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come
Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.
like if you have a boyfriend girlfriend or husband or wife or a crush.
One day I told my wife that she drew her I brows too high, She looked surprised.
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read “Hey im sorry i had to tell you like this but i have been doing your wife for months now” The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying “Sorry meant using your wifi”
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy’s clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started…”. The mother cuts him off and says “just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting “I’m leaving you… Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.”
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
how did Stephan hawking please his woman he uses a hard drive.
RUS | ENG
