wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… But I laugh more. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.
What do u call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do? Wrong
Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a seven year old.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: “Shut up … you’re next!”
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a woman who Isn?’t saluting. ?Why are you not saluting like the others? ? Hitler barks. ?"Mein Fuhrer, I?m the nurse," she responds "I?m not crazy!?
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
why did the orphan not have a girlfriend? because he thought that she would leave him to.
RUS | ENG
