Woman jokes

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room. My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, ?You look like a million pounds!? The wife divorced him.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Husband: Hay honey words can’t describe how beautiful you are. Wife: aww thanks Husband:But numbers can 0 out of 10

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

“I’m not sure why my girlfriend’s father doesn’t like me.” “What was your first impression on him?” “I told him, she calls me daddy too.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My girlfriend is a porn star. – She will kill me if she finds out.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead. Matt, “Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife” Priest, “how so?” Matt, “We were together naked, but we didn’t do anything just rubbed each other, that’s all” Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box" Matt, “okay i promise not to see her again” Then Matt walks out the door Priest, “Hey I saw you! you didn’t put any money in the donation box!!” Matt, “Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026