Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
my boyfriend accused me of cheating. i told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
Girlfriends are just like Ak47s they always go off on you.
My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant. My name, my address and my phone number.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Husband: I bet you can’t say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
A husband and a wife have four children the oldest three are tall with blonde hair, the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said “honey, can you be completely honest with me, is our youngest son mine?” The wife says “I swear to all that is holy he is your son.” Then the husband died and the wife muttered, “thank god he didn’t ask about the other three.”
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