Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window… If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive? Because she’s a woman.
What do u call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do? Wrong
My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She’s 7
nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. – But if I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?
Two friends who’ve been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday. The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, “If she doesn’t like the card I got her, then she can go f@ck herself!”
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. “She must have COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. “Cuz she clearly has no taste.” She responded.
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor “hows the baby?” “You had twins” the doctor replied. “Your brother named them” the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" “He called the girl Denise” “what about the boy” the woman asked the doctor said “denephew”
my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time
i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face
Man: "Is your body from Mcdonalds?" Woman: "Why, because your loving it?" Man: “No, because its fat and greasy.” :D
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.
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