My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish. I started thrashing about and roared “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
School Bully: How’s your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don’t have any! Me: How’s your parents? Oh wait, you don’t have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it
one day a priest loses his cock (chicken) he goes to the church and says “who has seen a cock” all the woman raised their hands “no who has seen a cock that is not theirs” half the woman’s htm title=' my cock” all the nuns hands went up'>hands went up “NO NO NO who has seen my cock” all the nuns hands went up
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?
Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
how do you know when your wife is cheating on you? she comes home with sparkles on her face
Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back
A programmer and his wife. She says, “We’re out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they’ve got eggs, get six.” After a while, he’s back with six loaves of bread. The wife asks, “Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?” He replies, “They had eggs.”
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
I took my girlfriend out the other day… Man do I love being a sniper.
RUS | ENG
