Some trans “woman” came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender How can you tell if your wife is dead? – The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
I see some objects over there… oh never mind, that’s a woman.
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael’s wife died the same day that Mark’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I’m sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, “Heck no. In fact, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle! ” The old lady fainted. ????????????
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic hehe
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Moist of the time.
I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk (goes to the store grabs milk) as I grab the milk I thought hey I bet I can repeat her life twice
What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
Two men were talking about their wives The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
What’s the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle? my girlfriend didn’t go to jail for loving me. I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
RUS | ENG
