The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born. the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.
i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
Most states: “It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.” Alabama: “She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. “Long day?” the bartender asks. “Well… My oldest son just came out…” The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. “What now?” the bartender asks. “My middle son just came out.” The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. “Again?” the bartender asks. “Yeah. My youngest son.” He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. “My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls? ?” the bartender asks. “Yeah… My wife.”
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend. She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
Man: "Is your body from Mcdonalds?" Woman: "Why, because your loving it?" Man: “No, because its fat and greasy.” :D
A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come
I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
A : Whats the similarity between your girlfriend and the Sun? B : They’re both hot? A : They’re both massive.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Moist of the time.
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