Woman jokes

"I’d rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth,"the woman told her dentist. He replied, “Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.”

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila

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What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side

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My girlfriend is like treasure to me You need a shovel to find her…

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A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

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Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

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My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me

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The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t

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Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not

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i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey

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A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

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My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.

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my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time

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Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. Tomato means harder and cheese means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming tomato tomato tomato cheese cheese cheese, then my little brother said can y’all stop making sandwiches your getting mayonnaise all over my bed.

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what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs

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