Woman jokes

rmm

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You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. – If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.

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My girlfriend is a porn star. – She will kill me if she finds out.

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Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a woman who Isn?’t saluting. ?Why are you not saluting like the others? ? Hitler barks. ?"Mein Fuhrer, I?m the nurse," she responds "I?m not crazy!?

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Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.

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Most states: “It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.” Alabama: “She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”

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I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.

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My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it

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Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

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Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck

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In my mothers generation, they grew up with wonder woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she’s a woman.

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Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.

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I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran

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If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?

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What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.

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