A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Husband: Hay honey words can’t describe how beautiful you are. Wife: aww thanks Husband:But numbers can 0 out of 10
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his butt.
Husband: I bet you can’t say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
What do u call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do? Wrong
My wife thinks i’m immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
I keep looking for my girlfriends killer but no one wants to do it.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?
My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
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