A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son “Come on Dick, lets go.”
Man: "Is your body from Mcdonalds?" Woman: "Why, because your loving it?" Man: “No, because its fat and greasy.” :D
Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die
Flippity floppity women are property
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says “oh my god your shoulders are broad!” another woman says “are you sure it’s a woman?”
Husband: Hay honey words can’t describe how beautiful you are. Wife: aww thanks Husband:But numbers can 0 out of 10
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. not everyone gets it
why did the orphan not have a girlfriend? because he thought that she would leave him to.
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time? " The woman replies “It’s been a while since a man has asked me that.”
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come
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