Woman jokes

My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

3 citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI, their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot them, he walked out in shame and said he couldn’t do it. The second guy had the same scenario, he put the gun up but couldn’t pull the trigger so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario, he walked out and told the instructor, “The gun wasn’t loaded, I had to strangle the bitch.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says “oh my god your shoulders are broad!” another woman says “are you sure it’s a woman?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle? my girlfriend didn’t go to jail for loving me. I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My girlfriend treats me like God. – She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One day I got home and told my girlfriend “I cheated on you.” she replied with “F**k you” I then said “But you won’t, that’s why I cheated on you.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me: Are you okay? Dentist: I’m just a bit surprised. When I said to you “spit it out” I wasn’t expecting you to say you’ve been shagging my wife.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly. So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026