Boy: my girlfriend didn’t dump me, I dumped her… Off the nearby cliff
I said to my pregnant wife push darling , come on push harder dear , no she wasn’t giving birth the bloody car would not start .
A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’
nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and ur dad is a woman? Transparent
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can’t unscrew a pregnant woman What’s a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman They’re both accidents
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women.
my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10. Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That’s the best I’ve done so far.
A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’
In my mothers generation, they grew up with wonder woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she’s a woman.
My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
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