my wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf My wife left me for an Indian guy. – I know he’s going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come
Girlfriends are just like Ak47s they always go off on you.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
One day I got home and told my girlfriend “I cheated on you.” she replied with “F**k you” I then said “But you won’t, that’s why I cheated on you.”
Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not
%% %%It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat? ’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’
My girlfriend is like treasure to me You need a shovel to find her…
like if you have a boyfriend girlfriend or husband or wife or a crush.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
A Man walks into a bar and Orders 3 shots of Whisky, The Bartender asks "What’s got you down" The man says “I just found out my Niece is gay.” The next day he orders 4 shots of Whisky The Bartender asks “What’s got you down now?” The man says "I just found out my son is gay." The next day he orders 6 shots of whisky The Bartender says "Got anybody who likes Women? " The man says “My wife does.”
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