Woman jokes

Why can’t Helen Keller drive? Because she’s a woman.

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My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it

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Why couldn’t the lizard get a girlfriend? Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

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I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.

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Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic hehe

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What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen

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My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. – But if I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

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My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me

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A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “she was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “perform the f@cking autopsy!”

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The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

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I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

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Me: Are you okay? Dentist: I’m just a bit surprised. When I said to you “spit it out” I wasn’t expecting you to say you’ve been shagging my wife.

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What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg

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i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey

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Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise

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