Woman jokes

If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?

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Doctor: Madam, Your Husband Needs Rest And Peace So Here Are Some Sleeping Pills. Wife: Doctor, When Should I Give Them To Him? Doctor: They Are For You.!!

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Y is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman stomach but never the man’s balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations

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Flippity floppity women are property

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Why can’t Helen Keller drive? Because she’s a woman.

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I see some objects over there… oh never mind, that’s a woman.

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Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.

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I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!

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My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.

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My girlfriend is like treasure to me You need a shovel to find her…

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Why couldn’t the lizard get a girlfriend? Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

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Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic hehe

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My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a seven year old.

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A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”

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My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!

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