Woman jokes

how did Stephan hawking please his woman he uses a hard drive.

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Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife? Only the wife was hung up

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how do you know when your wife is cheating on you? she comes home with sparkles on her face

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The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available. One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier

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Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?

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My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!

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What’s the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle? my girlfriend didn’t go to jail for loving me. I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

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Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regreted it. She left him too.

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Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.

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At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. “She must have COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. “Cuz she clearly has no taste.” She responded.

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If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.

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Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck

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I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.

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What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

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Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise

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