Woman jokes

I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.

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I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.

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My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.

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The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available. One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier

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I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran

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3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”

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What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come

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I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.

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Husband: I bet you can’t say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends

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why did the orphan not have a girlfriend? because he thought that she would leave him to.

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Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says, " Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.

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I see some objects over there… oh never mind, that’s a woman.

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Doctor: Madam, Your Husband Needs Rest And Peace So Here Are Some Sleeping Pills. Wife: Doctor, When Should I Give Them To Him? Doctor: They Are For You.!!

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nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users

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Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic hehe

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