A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born. the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.
Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
Do you know what’s the difference between a knife and a girl’s argument A knife has a point
I took my girlfriend out the other day… Man do I love being a sniper.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?
Wives are like grenades… – Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends? Because They don’t need permission from their Parents
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.
I have a girlfriend.
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
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