My girlfriend is a porn star. – She will kill me if she finds out.
Husband: I bet you can’t say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his butt.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages. After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?” “No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She’s 7
In my mothers generation, they grew up with wonder woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she’s a woman.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
FIRST DATE man: i work with animals every day woman: oh how sweet! what is it that you do? man: im a butcher…
Boy: my girlfriend didn’t dump me, I dumped her… Off the nearby cliff
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
One day I told my wife that she drew her I brows too high, She looked surprised.
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