Woman jokes

little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ? you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth… sorry

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why can’t Helen Keller drive? Because she’s a woman.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son “Come on Dick, lets go.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

When your girlfriend has an abortion, it’s kinda like dodging your own bullets.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant. My name, my address and my phone number.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys ????

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

how do you know when your wife is cheating on you? she comes home with sparkles on her face

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

“I’m not sure why my girlfriend’s father doesn’t like me.” “What was your first impression on him?” “I told him, she calls me daddy too.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One day I got home and told my girlfriend “I cheated on you.” she replied with “F**k you” I then said “But you won’t, that’s why I cheated on you.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “she was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “perform the f@cking autopsy!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026