Woman jokes

FIRST DATE man: i work with animals every day woman: oh how sweet! what is it that you do? man: im a butcher…

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An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. “But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin? ” Asks one of the guests. “Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

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A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!

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Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. Tomato means harder and cheese means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming tomato tomato tomato cheese cheese cheese, then my little brother said can y’all stop making sandwiches your getting mayonnaise all over my bed.

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A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says “oh my god your shoulders are broad!” another woman says “are you sure it’s a woman?”

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I keep looking for my girlfriends killer but no one wants to do it.

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My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

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Some trans “woman” came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender How can you tell if your wife is dead? – The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.

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Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either

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What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his butt.

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If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?

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What do you call it if your mom is a guy and ur dad is a woman? Transparent

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Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector

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My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She’s 7

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