Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says, " Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.
My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
I see some objects over there… oh never mind, that’s a woman.
Two girls have a sleepover. Karen: Let’s go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it’s early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" Lauren hears noise Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: laughs Lauren: remembers her boyfriend is Karen’s brother Mikey
What do u call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do? Wrong
Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
why is there no woman on the moon? because it doesnt need to be cleaned
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome
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