Woman jokes

why is there no woman on the moon? because it doesnt need to be cleaned

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Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Moist of the time.

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Boy: my girlfriend didn’t dump me, I dumped her… Off the nearby cliff

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I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk (goes to the store grabs milk) as I grab the milk I thought hey I bet I can repeat her life twice

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Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”

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Wives are like grenades… – Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!

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What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.

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My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed. It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary

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I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.

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Two friends who’ve been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday. The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, “If she doesn’t like the card I got her, then she can go f@ck herself!”

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A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him: Wife: why is your face all bloody? Husband: I was so drunk that I couldn’t stand up so I kept falling on my face! Wife: idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!

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I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number

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Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector

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My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it

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