Woman jokes

My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.

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I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran

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What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side

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My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

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A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”

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Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T

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I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.

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one day a priest loses his cock (chicken) he goes to the church and says “who has seen a cock” all the woman raised their hands “no who has seen a cock that is not theirs” half the woman’s htm title=' my cock” all the nuns hands went up'>hands went up “NO NO NO who has seen my cock” all the nuns hands went up

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Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck

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Why do orphans make the best girlfriends? Because They don’t need permission from their Parents

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Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window… If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

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What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come

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What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.

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Man: "Is your body from Mcdonalds?" Woman: "Why, because your loving it?" Man: “No, because its fat and greasy.” :D

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Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.

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