Woman jokes

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

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you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.

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Me: Are you okay? Dentist: I’m just a bit surprised. When I said to you “spit it out” I wasn’t expecting you to say you’ve been shagging my wife.

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FIRST DATE man: i work with animals every day woman: oh how sweet! what is it that you do? man: im a butcher…

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What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come

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my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time

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I have a girlfriend.

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My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.

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A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: “Shut up … you’re next!”

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Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.

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I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.

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I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.

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one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

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One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back

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My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama

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