Woman jokes

Only one of Kenny’s girlfriends has ever said he’s good in bed. But she has to. She’s his mom.

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3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"

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A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything

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Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic hehe

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like if you have a boyfriend girlfriend or husband or wife or a crush.

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My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10. Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That’s the best I’ve done so far.

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What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side

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why did the orphan not have a girlfriend? because he thought that she would leave him to.

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My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”

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you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.

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My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a seven year old.

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Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regreted it. She left him too.

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Why do orphans make the best girlfriends? Because They don’t need permission from their Parents

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My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama

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My girlfriend treats me like God. – She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

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