A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says “oh my god your shoulders are broad!” another woman says “are you sure it’s a woman?”
Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary
Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says, " Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.
Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either
My girlfriend treats me like God. – She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. not everyone gets it
Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.
i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
After my wife died, I couldn’t even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I’m out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly? Boyfriend: your both! Girlfriend: what do you mean by that? Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!
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