A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
Me at the Oscars when i see Jada Pinkett Smith, me, I said: “G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I Jada 2, can’t wait to see it” So will smith is laughing and then suddenly, Suddenly Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigcka Smith goes: “KEEP MY WIFE’S NAME OUT OF YOUR f@ckING MOUTH! ” Me: “Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers”
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
Do you know what’s the difference between a knife and a girl’s argument A knife has a point
A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then? ’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’
My girlfriend is a porn star. – She will kill me if she finds out.
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says “oh my god your shoulders are broad!” another woman says “are you sure it’s a woman?”
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10. Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That’s the best I’ve done so far.
RUS | ENG
