Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
Two girls have a sleepover. Karen: Let’s go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it’s early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" Lauren hears noise Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: laughs Lauren: remembers her boyfriend is Karen’s brother Mikey
Only one of Kenny’s girlfriends has ever said he’s good in bed. But she has to. She’s his mom.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help! ” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?
Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Moist of the time.
My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
Two men were talking about their wives The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
rmm
At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. “She must have COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. “Cuz she clearly has no taste.” She responded.
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