Woman jokes

Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife? Only the wife was hung up

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My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

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Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary

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What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

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The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”

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My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000

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My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly. So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

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Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”

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A : Whats the similarity between your girlfriend and the Sun? B : They’re both hot? A : They’re both massive.

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one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

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What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can’t unscrew a pregnant woman What’s a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman They’re both accidents

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One day I got home and told my girlfriend “I cheated on you.” she replied with “F**k you” I then said “But you won’t, that’s why I cheated on you.”

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

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What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg

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I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran

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