I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk (goes to the store grabs milk) as I grab the milk I thought hey I bet I can repeat her life twice
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it’s kinda like dodging your own bullets.
like if you have a boyfriend girlfriend or husband or wife or a crush.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy’s clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started…”. The mother cuts him off and says “just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting “I’m leaving you… Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.”
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages. After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?” “No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
why did the orphan not have a girlfriend? because he thought that she would leave him to.
I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and ur dad is a woman? Transparent
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