A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a seven year old.
My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
School Bully: How’s your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don’t have any! Me: How’s your parents? Oh wait, you don’t have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage
If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?
why is there no woman on the moon? because it doesnt need to be cleaned
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come
Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly? Boyfriend: your both! Girlfriend: what do you mean by that? Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!
At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. “She must have COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. “Cuz she clearly has no taste.” She responded.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet and the wife said yaknow weve been good about our diet lets have a cheat night tonight. The wife came home with kfc and wendys. the husband came home with sylvia from the office.
The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”
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