What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.
rmm
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son “Come on Dick, lets go.”
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
Wives are like grenades… – Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
A woman went out on a date and said “I’m thirty one with the body of a sixteen year old” the man responded “wanna show me???” the woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “take a look”
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room. My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.
i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey
my boyfriend accused me of cheating. i told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his butt.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.
Why couldn’t the lizard get a girlfriend? Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
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