Woman jokes

Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.

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My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a seven year old.

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What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.

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The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t

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Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

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Flippity floppity women are property

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Do you know what’s the difference between a knife and a girl’s argument A knife has a point

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What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen

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Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”

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What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.

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My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish. I started thrashing about and roared “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”

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One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys ????

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Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a woman who Isn?’t saluting. ?Why are you not saluting like the others? ? Hitler barks. ?"Mein Fuhrer, I?m the nurse," she responds "I?m not crazy!?

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Husband: Hay honey words can’t describe how beautiful you are. Wife: aww thanks Husband:But numbers can 0 out of 10

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you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.

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