my girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex and I said what’s that, she said I f@ck her ass, I said oh my uncle calls that shhhhh
What’s the worst part of Breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it. I have a problem my dad any my girlfriend have the same birthday. So one took my virginity and the other is my girlfriend
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Moist of the time.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. – I’m doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
“What does the word ‘gay’ mean?” asked a son his father. “It means ‘happy’,” replied the father. “Oh,” contested the son, “so you are gay then?” “No, son, I have a wife.”
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, ?You look like a million pounds!? The wife divorced him.
one day a priest loses his cock (chicken) he goes to the church and says “who has seen a cock” all the woman raised their hands “no who has seen a cock that is not theirs” half the woman’s htm title=' my cock” all the nuns hands went up'>hands went up “NO NO NO who has seen my cock” all the nuns hands went up
so i was sitting on the couch with a woman,and i asked her,does this napkin smell like chloroform?
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. – If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… But I laugh more. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
A : Whats the similarity between your girlfriend and the Sun? B : They’re both hot? A : They’re both massive.
RUS | ENG
