Woman jokes

so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it

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I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.

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Why can’t Helen Keller drive? Because she’s a woman.

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What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg

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My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it

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My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again

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A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’

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nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users

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A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

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A wife and husband had been on a strict diet and the wife said yaknow weve been good about our diet lets have a cheat night tonight. The wife came home with kfc and wendys. the husband came home with sylvia from the office.

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i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face

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Do you know what’s the difference between a knife and a girl’s argument A knife has a point

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What do u call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do? Wrong

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What do you call it if your mom is a guy and ur dad is a woman? Transparent

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A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

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