Woman jokes

My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time? " The woman replies “It’s been a while since a man has asked me that.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle? my girlfriend didn’t go to jail for loving me. I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a woman who Isn?’t saluting. ?Why are you not saluting like the others? ? Hitler barks. ?"Mein Fuhrer, I?m the nurse," she responds "I?m not crazy!?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

There are two siblings. A little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night, and take her home. So they get to the bigger brothers house, and walk in his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk bed. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, “whenever you feel good, say lettuce, and whenever you want to switch positions say tomato.” The girl constantly is saying “lettuce, tomato” and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, " can you guys stop making sandwiches, you’re getting mayonnaise all over me.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! 

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

why did the orphan not have a girlfriend? because he thought that she would leave him to.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Boy: my girlfriend didn’t dump me, I dumped her… Off the nearby cliff

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… But I laugh more. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I have a girlfriend.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Flippity floppity women are property

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026