A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!
My girlfriend is like treasure to me You need a shovel to find her…
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son “Come on Dick, lets go.”
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her ‘doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?’ The doctor says ‘my number’
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
What do u call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do? Wrong
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
Boy: my girlfriend didn’t dump me, I dumped her… Off the nearby cliff
I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk (goes to the store grabs milk) as I grab the milk I thought hey I bet I can repeat her life twice
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
My wife thinks i’m immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife? Only the wife was hung up
After my wife died, I couldn’t even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I’m out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
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