Woman jokes

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife? Only the wife was hung up

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic hehe

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

“What does the word ‘gay’ mean?” asked a son his father. “It means ‘happy’,” replied the father. “Oh,” contested the son, “so you are gay then?” “No, son, I have a wife.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says, " Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money. Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, “Did you see me rob this bank?” The man replied, “Yes sir, I did.” The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly. He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, “Did you see me rob this bank? ” The man replied, “No sir, I didn’t, but my wife did!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Boy: my girlfriend didn’t dump me, I dumped her… Off the nearby cliff

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A woman comes to the doctor and tells her ‘doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?’ The doctor says ‘my number’

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke? ” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026