What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can’t unscrew a pregnant woman What’s a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman They’re both accidents
I have a girlfriend.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning? Because they don’t have balls.
Only one of Kenny’s girlfriends has ever said he’s good in bed. But she has to. She’s his mom.
My girlfriend is a porn star. – She will kill me if she finds out.
How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ? you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth… sorry
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
Girlfriends are just like Ak47s they always go off on you.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She’s 7
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
Husband: Hay honey words can’t describe how beautiful you are. Wife: aww thanks Husband:But numbers can 0 out of 10
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it
RUS | ENG
