Flippity floppity women are property
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!
what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning? Because they don’t have balls.
Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know! ?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant. My name, my address and my phone number.
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help! ” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
how do you know when your wife is cheating on you? she comes home with sparkles on her face
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages. After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?” “No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
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