My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed. It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary
A : Whats the similarity between your girlfriend and the Sun? B : They’re both hot? A : They’re both massive.
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
Some trans “woman” came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender How can you tell if your wife is dead? – The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
I said to my pregnant wife push darling , come on push harder dear , no she wasn’t giving birth the bloody car would not start .
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again
After my wife died, I couldn’t even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I’m out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
What do u call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do? Wrong
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome
Why can’t Helen Keller drive? Because she’s a woman.
my girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex and I said what’s that, she said I f@ck her ass, I said oh my uncle calls that shhhhh
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
Why couldn’t the lizard get a girlfriend? Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys ????
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