so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his butt.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?
what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, “Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in”.
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ? you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth… sorry
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time
RUS | ENG
