My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… But I laugh more. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
Husband: I bet you can’t say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users
How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ? you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth… sorry
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning? Because they don’t have balls.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back
One day I told my wife that she drew her I brows too high, She looked surprised.
Girlfriends are just like Ak47s they always go off on you.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help! ” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”
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