What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend. She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila
nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a woman who Isn?’t saluting. ?Why are you not saluting like the others? ? Hitler barks. ?"Mein Fuhrer, I?m the nurse," she responds "I?m not crazy!?
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
Two men were talking about their wives The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited. However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium. So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field. He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken. The man replies, “No.” The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?” The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.” “Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you? ” “No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’
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