A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor “hows the baby?” “You had twins” the doctor replied. “Your brother named them” the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" “He called the girl Denise” “what about the boy” the woman asked the doctor said “denephew”
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. ‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’ The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said. The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”
nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users
In my mothers generation, they grew up with wonder woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she’s a woman.
My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed. It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary
There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.
After my wife died, I couldn’t even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I’m out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window… If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
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