One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Moist of the time.
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regreted it. She left him too.
I keep looking for my girlfriends killer but no one wants to do it.
Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife? Only the wife was hung up
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… But I laugh more. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.
why is there no woman on the moon? because it doesnt need to be cleaned
Wives are like grenades… – Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
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