How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?
My girlfriend is like treasure to me You need a shovel to find her…
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning? Because they don’t have balls.
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.
My girlfriend is a porn star. – She will kill me if she finds out.
One day I told my wife that she drew her I brows too high, She looked surprised.
what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs
Husband: Hay honey words can’t describe how beautiful you are. Wife: aww thanks Husband:But numbers can 0 out of 10
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
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