If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
Billy: spits out food Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths. Dad: looks at mom Mom: Shut up If you get you get it
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his butt.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”
One day I got home and told my girlfriend “I cheated on you.” she replied with “F**k you” I then said “But you won’t, that’s why I cheated on you.”
My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish. I started thrashing about and roared “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She’s 7
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
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