Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
Boy: my girlfriend didn’t dump me, I dumped her… Off the nearby cliff
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born. the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet and the wife said yaknow weve been good about our diet lets have a cheat night tonight. The wife came home with kfc and wendys. the husband came home with sylvia from the office.
Most states: “It’s ok, it won’t be awkward. We’re still friends.” Alabama: “She didn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she’ll still be my sister.”
Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant. My name, my address and my phone number.
Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”
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