Woman jokes

One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born. the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

my girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex and I said what’s that, she said I f@ck her ass, I said oh my uncle calls that shhhhh

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I took my girlfriend out the other day… Man do I love being a sniper.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available. One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A woman went out on a date and said “I’m thirty one with the body of a sixteen year old” the man responded “wanna show me???” the woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “take a look”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor “hows the baby?” “You had twins” the doctor replied. “Your brother named them” the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" “He called the girl Denise” “what about the boy” the woman asked the doctor said “denephew”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026