Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?
so i was sitting on the couch with a woman,and i asked her,does this napkin smell like chloroform?
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends? Because They don’t need permission from their Parents
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regreted it. She left him too.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.
Husband: Hay honey words can’t describe how beautiful you are. Wife: aww thanks Husband:But numbers can 0 out of 10
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back
Women are like dogs… “Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?” “Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? ” “I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here…” SHOES
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available. One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
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