I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
Only one of Kenny’s girlfriends has ever said he’s good in bed. But she has to. She’s his mom.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She’s 7
its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born. the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
how do you know when your wife is cheating on you? she comes home with sparkles on her face
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
In my mothers generation, they grew up with wonder woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she’s a woman.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Do you know what’s the difference between a knife and a girl’s argument A knife has a point
I said to my pregnant wife push darling , come on push harder dear , no she wasn’t giving birth the bloody car would not start .
Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.
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