Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
my wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf My wife left me for an Indian guy. – I know he’s going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
one day a priest loses his cock (chicken) he goes to the church and says “who has seen a cock” all the woman raised their hands “no who has seen a cock that is not theirs” half the woman’s htm title=' my cock” all the nuns hands went up'>hands went up “NO NO NO who has seen my cock” all the nuns hands went up
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited. However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium. So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field. He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken. The man replies, “No.” The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?” The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.” “Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you? ” “No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey
20 years of sex in the dark the wife find out he was using a dildo the wife get angry and says ?explain the dildo prick? the husband says ?explain the children bitch
My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends? Because They don’t need permission from their Parents
"I’d rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth,"the woman told her dentist. He replied, “Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.”
I have a girlfriend.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his butt.
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