A man robs a bank and asks a woman, “did you see that?” She says “yes”, so the man shoots her. He leaves the bank and sees a couple, he asks “did you see that?” “No but my wife did!” The husband said.
my boyfriend accused me of cheating. i told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed. It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary
The cops are still searching for my wife’s killer. Luckily I already fled the country.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. – I’m doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room. My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
Flippity floppity women are property
A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
RUS | ENG
