Woman jokes

One day I got home and told my girlfriend “I cheated on you.” she replied with “F**k you” I then said “But you won’t, that’s why I cheated on you.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

why is there no woman on the moon? because it doesnt need to be cleaned

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Girlfriends are just like Ak47s they always go off on you.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

-1

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly? " Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Little Johnny walked on into to his house.He heard a banging sound from up above and decied to investigate.He opened the door to his parents room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window… If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026