Woman jokes

I have a girlfriend.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available. One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish. I started thrashing about and roared “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room. My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born. the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says “oh my god your shoulders are broad!” another woman says “are you sure it’s a woman?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. “Long day?” the bartender asks. “Well… My oldest son just came out…” The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. “What now?” the bartender asks. “My middle son just came out.” The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. “Again?” the bartender asks. “Yeah. My youngest son.” He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. “My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls? ?” the bartender asks. “Yeah… My wife.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026