A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. – I’m doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning? Because they don’t have balls.
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
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what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend. She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Women are like dogs… “Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?” “Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? ” “I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here…” SHOES
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… But I laugh more. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
RUS | ENG
