A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it’s kinda like dodging your own bullets.
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk (goes to the store grabs milk) as I grab the milk I thought hey I bet I can repeat her life twice
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. – But if I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T
At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. “She must have COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. “Cuz she clearly has no taste.” She responded.
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window… If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
Husband: Hay honey words can’t describe how beautiful you are. Wife: aww thanks Husband:But numbers can 0 out of 10
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