A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor “hows the baby?” “You had twins” the doctor replied. “Your brother named them” the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" “He called the girl Denise” “what about the boy” the woman asked the doctor said “denephew”
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. – If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die
Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
Husband: Hay honey words can’t describe how beautiful you are. Wife: aww thanks Husband:But numbers can 0 out of 10
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. – I’m doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regreted it. She left him too.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his butt.
Two men were talking about their wives The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. “She must have COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. “Cuz she clearly has no taste.” She responded.
Women are like dogs… “Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?” “Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? ” “I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here…” SHOES
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
RUS | ENG
