What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born. the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.
Wives are like grenades… – Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning? Because they don’t have balls.
I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me
“I’m not sure why my girlfriend’s father doesn’t like me.” “What was your first impression on him?” “I told him, she calls me daddy too.”
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. ‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’ The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said. The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome
Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says, " Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
why did the orphan not have a girlfriend? because he thought that she would leave him to.
My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed. It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary
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