Woman jokes

Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says “oh my god your shoulders are broad!” another woman says “are you sure it’s a woman?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A guy is due to meet his friends for drink at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late. The guy says, “Well, you won’t believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her.” The friends are cheering and one friend asks, “So… did you get any head?” The guy replies, “No, I couldn’t find it.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant. My name, my address and my phone number.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

rmm

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly? Boyfriend: your both! Girlfriend: what do you mean by that? Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

In my mothers generation, they grew up with wonder woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she’s a woman.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025