Woman jokes

Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.

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I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

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so i was sitting on the couch with a woman,and i asked her,does this napkin smell like chloroform?

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The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born. the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

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So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

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My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000

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Only one of Kenny’s girlfriends has ever said he’s good in bed. But she has to. She’s his mom.

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Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary

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My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama

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Some trans “woman” came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender How can you tell if your wife is dead? – The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.

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What’s the worst part of Breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it. I have a problem my dad any my girlfriend have the same birthday. So one took my virginity and the other is my girlfriend

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I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users

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My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.

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Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not

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