Woman jokes

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

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My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.

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Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. not everyone gets it

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What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

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My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

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My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

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Why can’t Helen Keller drive? Because she’s a woman.

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A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant. My name, my address and my phone number.

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The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”

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i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face

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My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.

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The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t

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Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise

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Women are like dogs… “Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?” “Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? ” “I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here…” SHOES

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i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey

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