Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
My girlfriend is like treasure to me You need a shovel to find her…
“What does the word ‘gay’ mean?” asked a son his father. “It means ‘happy’,” replied the father. “Oh,” contested the son, “so you are gay then?” “No, son, I have a wife.”
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke? ” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come
Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute ©, delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H). " Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: “I’m just kidding!”
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary
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