its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions which made me cry. Onions was a good dog.
Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Moist of the time.
At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. “She must have COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. “Cuz she clearly has no taste.” She responded.
Billy: spits out food Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths. Dad: looks at mom Mom: Shut up If you get you get it
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, “did you see that?” She says “yes”, so the man shoots her. He leaves the bank and sees a couple, he asks “did you see that?” “No but my wife did!” The husband said.
Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife? Only the wife was hung up
Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
My wife thinks i’m immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a woman who Isn?’t saluting. ?Why are you not saluting like the others? ? Hitler barks. ?"Mein Fuhrer, I?m the nurse," she responds "I?m not crazy!?
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran
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