Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck
“I’m not sure why my girlfriend’s father doesn’t like me.” “What was your first impression on him?” “I told him, she calls me daddy too.”
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come
What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg
nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: “Shut up … you’re next!”
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
I took my girlfriend out the other day… Man do I love being a sniper.
Husband: I bet you can’t say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
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