I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ? you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth… sorry
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. – If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
Women are like dogs… “Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?” “Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? ” “I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here…” SHOES
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time? " The woman replies “It’s been a while since a man has asked me that.”
Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says, " Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
Me: Are you okay? Dentist: I’m just a bit surprised. When I said to you “spit it out” I wasn’t expecting you to say you’ve been shagging my wife.
My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back
Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic hehe
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