I keep looking for my girlfriends killer but no one wants to do it.
After my wife died, I couldn’t even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I’m out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
3 citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI, their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot them, he walked out in shame and said he couldn’t do it. The second guy had the same scenario, he put the gun up but couldn’t pull the trigger so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario, he walked out and told the instructor, “The gun wasn’t loaded, I had to strangle the bitch.”
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
Billy: spits out food Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths. Dad: looks at mom Mom: Shut up If you get you get it
i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.
Flippity floppity women are property
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a seven year old.
One day I told my wife that she drew her I brows too high, She looked surprised.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.
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