My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb
rmm
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
My girlfriend treats me like God. – She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey
RUS | ENG
