What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can’t unscrew a pregnant woman What’s a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman They’re both accidents
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends? Because They don’t need permission from their Parents
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: “Shut up … you’re next!”
rmm
Doctor: Madam, Your Husband Needs Rest And Peace So Here Are Some Sleeping Pills. Wife: Doctor, When Should I Give Them To Him? Doctor: They Are For You.!!
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it’s kinda like dodging your own bullets.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She’s 7
How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ? you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth… sorry
A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time? " The woman replies “It’s been a while since a man has asked me that.”
My wife thinks i’m immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic hehe
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come
Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says, " Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. – I’m doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
RUS | ENG
