Doctor: Madam, Your Husband Needs Rest And Peace So Here Are Some Sleeping Pills. Wife: Doctor, When Should I Give Them To Him? Doctor: They Are For You.!!
I see some objects over there… oh never mind, that’s a woman.
A guy is due to meet his friends for drink at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late. The guy says, “Well, you won’t believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her.” The friends are cheering and one friend asks, “So… did you get any head?” The guy replies, “No, I couldn’t find it.”
The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”
FIRST DATE man: i work with animals every day woman: oh how sweet! what is it that you do? man: im a butcher…
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room. My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says “oh my god your shoulders are broad!” another woman says “are you sure it’s a woman?”
My girlfriend is a porn star. – She will kill me if she finds out.
i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come
Flippity floppity women are property
my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome
so i was sitting on the couch with a woman,and i asked her,does this napkin smell like chloroform?
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