One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends? Because They don’t need permission from their Parents
i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women.
My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ? you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth… sorry
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10. Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That’s the best I’ve done so far.
My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed. It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary
how do you know when your wife is cheating on you? she comes home with sparkles on her face
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can’t unscrew a pregnant woman What’s a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman They’re both accidents
My girlfriend is a porn star. – She will kill me if she finds out.
My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly. So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. – If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
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