Woman jokes

Why couldn’t the lizard get a girlfriend? Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

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Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. not everyone gets it

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What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side

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Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.

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what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs

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FIRST DATE man: i work with animals every day woman: oh how sweet! what is it that you do? man: im a butcher…

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There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.

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A programmer and his wife. She says, “We’re out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they’ve got eggs, get six.” After a while, he’s back with six loaves of bread. The wife asks, “Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?” He replies, “They had eggs.”

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A man boards a plane with six children of various ages. After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?” “No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”

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Husband: Hay honey words can’t describe how beautiful you are. Wife: aww thanks Husband:But numbers can 0 out of 10

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Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.

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Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute ©, delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H). " Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: “I’m just kidding!”

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My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish. I started thrashing about and roared “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”

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What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his butt.

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I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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