Flippity floppity women are property
why is there no woman on the moon? because it doesnt need to be cleaned
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me
Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary
When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… But I laugh more. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
Boy: my girlfriend didn’t dump me, I dumped her… Off the nearby cliff
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and ur dad is a woman? Transparent
my wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf My wife left me for an Indian guy. – I know he’s going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either
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