Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic hehe
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Doctor: Madam, Your Husband Needs Rest And Peace So Here Are Some Sleeping Pills. Wife: Doctor, When Should I Give Them To Him? Doctor: They Are For You.!!
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, “did you see that?” She says “yes”, so the man shoots her. He leaves the bank and sees a couple, he asks “did you see that?” “No but my wife did!” The husband said.
My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me
i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey
Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary
one day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran. two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said “No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn’t look down then he and his girlfriend ran.”
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama
Wives are like grenades… – Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.
I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk (goes to the store grabs milk) as I grab the milk I thought hey I bet I can repeat her life twice
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
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