Woman jokes

A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

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Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a woman who Isn?’t saluting. ?Why are you not saluting like the others? ? Hitler barks. ?"Mein Fuhrer, I?m the nurse," she responds "I?m not crazy!?

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I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!

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The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available. One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier

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Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.

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I have a girlfriend.

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I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

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My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you’re told. What’s the difference between your girlfriend and sister ? Nothing if your from Alabama

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I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset

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Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window… If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

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Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not

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What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.

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Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila

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little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"

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