After my wife died, I couldn’t even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I’m out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’
my boyfriend accused me of cheating. i told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regreted it. She left him too.
-1
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him: Wife: why is your face all bloody? Husband: I was so drunk that I couldn’t stand up so I kept falling on my face! Wife: idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!
Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T
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