An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. “But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin? ” Asks one of the guests. “Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.
“I’m not sure why my girlfriend’s father doesn’t like me.” “What was your first impression on him?” “I told him, she calls me daddy too.”
my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don’t stand up for her in fights I don’t care she use to push me around all the time
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it
Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning? Because they don’t have balls.
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window… If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend? A: Will you marrow me?
I see some objects over there… oh never mind, that’s a woman.
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.
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