Woman jokes

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available. One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier

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Girlfriends are just like Ak47s they always go off on you.

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I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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why is there no woman on the moon? because it doesnt need to be cleaned

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Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector

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Why do orphans make the best girlfriends? Because They don’t need permission from their Parents

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Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise

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My girlfriend treats me like God. – She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

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My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it

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What do you call it if your mom is a guy and ur dad is a woman? Transparent

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila

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Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window… If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

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A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

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What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.

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My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.

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