Woman jokes

My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons

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A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

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What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen

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A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then? ’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’

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What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.

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What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.

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what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back

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A wife and husband had been on a strict diet and the wife said yaknow weve been good about our diet lets have a cheat night tonight. The wife came home with kfc and wendys. the husband came home with sylvia from the office.

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I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset

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My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

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I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. – I didn’t want to interrupt her. A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3… The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”. The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some

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Do you know what’s the difference between a knife and a girl’s argument A knife has a point

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Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise

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nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users

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A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’

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