Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone Ex Boyfriend: how and why? Girlfriend: Because your about to die
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. – But if I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
Girlfriend: am I pretty or ugly? Boyfriend: your both! Girlfriend: what do you mean by that? Boyfriend: your pretty ugly!!!
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
One day I told my wife that she drew her I brows too high, She looked surprised.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
Girlfriends are just like Ak47s they always go off on you.
“What does the word ‘gay’ mean?” asked a son his father. “It means ‘happy’,” replied the father. “Oh,” contested the son, “so you are gay then?” “No, son, I have a wife.”
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number
My wife thinks i’m immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
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