Woman jokes

A : Whats the similarity between your girlfriend and the Sun? B : They’re both hot? A : They’re both massive.

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i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face

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I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

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like if you have a boyfriend girlfriend or husband or wife or a crush.

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I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.

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20 years of sex in the dark the wife find out he was using a dildo the wife get angry and says ?explain the dildo prick? the husband says ?explain the children bitch

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Me at the Oscars when i see Jada Pinkett Smith, me, I said: “G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I Jada 2, can’t wait to see it” So will smith is laughing and then suddenly, Suddenly Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigcka Smith goes: “KEEP MY WIFE’S NAME OUT OF YOUR f@ckING MOUTH! ” Me: “Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers”

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I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran

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I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.

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My wife thinks i’m immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.

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what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs

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Little Johnny walked on into to his house.He heard a banging sound from up above and decied to investigate.He opened the door to his parents room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.

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So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

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My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… But I laugh more. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

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Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not

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