A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy “What’s going on here!?” He exclaims. The wife replies “See, I told you he was stupid.”
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor “hows the baby?” “You had twins” the doctor replied. “Your brother named them” the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" “He called the girl Denise” “what about the boy” the woman asked the doctor said “denephew”
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T
Little Johnny walked on into to his house.He heard a banging sound from up above and decied to investigate.He opened the door to his parents room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She’s 7
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a seven year old.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg
Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck
RUS | ENG
